The Mixed Tape

2006-11-09T23:27:00.000-08:00

Hey people! I've shifted to Xanga. Yup.

Goodbye Blogger & Hello Xanga! Haha. Yes, finally I'm out of blogger. But thanks, Blogger, for being such a good companion. It was great pouring my heart out to you. I might go back to you someday but for now, I'll stick to Xanga.

www.xanga.com/whenthecitysleeps

2006-11-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

Rookie of the year

Oh, do you know I can't help it but to LOVE my dad, at times? Haha. He's very nice sometimes. He'll give me almost whatever I asked for. But wait, I don't ask him for money to shop & all. Today, he gave me a cheque to pay for my dance lesson commencing next monday(which is also my birthday, just to remind you people out there. Haha!). YAY! Woooh, so blissful. But on the other hand, he kept warning me abut getting a tattoo. He is really against the idea. I mean, I didn't tell him I'm getting one soon. He said he's okay with piercings but NOT tattoos. Haha. Damn, I want to be a good girl you know. I want a tattoo too! I don't know lah. I'm going to hide it as long as possible.

I spent the whole of yesterday night, looking for a few unique tattoos. Yes, I'm getting one. Yay. SOON!

How would you feel if someone who was once special to you, said that you're slutty & all. The feeling's just not right. Damn horrible. Yes, I'm not really affected but I can't help but kept thinking about it! Haha.

2006-11-06T23:58:00.000-08:00

Spitalfield - Secrets In Mirrors

Yes, holy shit, it's monday again. Monday is the first day of the week(okay, obviously), which means, 4 more day to weekends! I hate Mondays. I don't want to sound cliche & all, complaining about Monday Blues, period & those shit. But everyone look so cheerless & uninterested today. *cries, boring lah! Something that start my day off.. Ganesh & his gorgeous hair colour turned from bright red to orange today. Hahaha.

& the following is taken from my dear, Selina's blog, here it goes:
"talking abt egg tarts.
one day i called aggie(Agnes) a fucktard.
guess what she replied.
" eh i feel like eating egg tart "
this is what i call, a bimbo."

Haha, that's like so mean alright. Don't expose such embarrassing things in your blog, dear! Lol, I told my sister about it & she laughed her ass off man. All you people are so so so mean. Doesn't the word "tard" at the back, reminds you of "tarts". Egg tarts, fruit tarts.. Yummy. No, I kind of like chocolate tarts too. & yes, I asked my mom to buy me chocolate tarts just now. It tastes so great.

Do you know what drives me to go to school, or rather, wake up early to catch the early bus? This rather, yes "rather", cute guy on the bus. Yes, we used to take the same bus in the previous semester but this year, I was so lazy that I can toss around the bed for 30 minutes to 1 hour that, I always take the bus with very little & pathetic amount of people. Haha. Yes. He isn't very good looking but he caught my eye. Yes, people said that I have weird taste in guys. Whatever lah, okay. & Selina didn't wait for me after school! BOOOOOO. Haha, nah it's okay.

Anyway, it's 22:50 now & it has already past my sleeping time. Yes, goodbye for now. Hey, & I miss him very badly. I wonder what he's doing now. He said, "see you after o's". YEAH, hopefully soon. I really want o's to end like.. NOW! Haha, alright I'd better stop now. Otherwise I will never stop.

That's all for now. Goodnight folks. Goodnight, you. *All the best for you paper tomorrow. I pray hard that it'll be easy. Haha, & not as hard as today's that you say you'll faint if all the papers turned ot to be hard. That will never happen lah!

2006-11-04T00:55:00.000-08:00

Muse - Supermassive black hole

I didn't work today. So, today's definitely a happy happy day for me. I went shopping with my sister. We had a great time, spending money, especially me. I wanna cry now. I spent about a hundred plus. I have to work harder now. Alright, we went for manicure, shopping, dinner, & I wanted to hang out at some pub. But too bad, Serene Tan doesn't have much money left. Otherwise I'll be the first to bring her to pubs & all. How fun can it be. Hahaha. She's a loser. She has never been to pubs/clubs. No lah, she wanted to but too bad, she's fucking underaged. Lol! I bought a belt, 3 tops, jeans & shades.

Some pictures we took!

Notice I wasn't posing? Haha, know why? As you guys might have already know, my sister's SLIGHTLY taller than me, & she's wearing heels. Yes, at home. Dumb. So, I have to tip toe in order to look taller. Haha!

Hmmm. Manicure.

2006-11-03T23:40:00.000-08:00

02 Nov, The Juliana Theory
I can't wait for school to end! 'cause I wanted to watch The Covenant so badly! Yup, so I rushed through the quiz & evaluation & headed downstairs to meet Selina. We took a train together! That's rare. Met Xi Ping & we caught The Covenant. The guy is damn hot. Oh, I mean Caleb, the main lead. Damn damn hot, I tell you. Great looks & hot body. Woooh.

The one on the right. DUH.

See what I mean. So cute lah. Haha. Okay, I'd better stop this.

Anyway, we went off to gardens after the movie. Where to? Happy Daze of course. Haha, met Shaun(I don't know why others prefer to call him by his chinese name, Ming Xue) there too. 'cause Leonard's working. We had set dinners & housepours. I did my RJ while the guys were playing poker cards. & after I'm done, we played Scrabble. The game bores me. Haha. I'm a really lousy drinker & I hate that! I can't hold my liquor well, I get tipsy after that. We had erm, vodka pineapple & whiskey coke. Jugs. Just the two of us. A few of Leo's girl friends came down & one of them happened to be from RP, & we've met before, the other time at Gaston's house. I was feeling so terrible that I have to asked one of them to accompany me out to take a cab home. I felt as if I was going to faint lah, but still conscious. Was not feeling very well, so I skipped school today. My mom kept nagging about this. I can't fucking stand it. Maybe I should really stop skipping school. She warned me about working on weekdays now. Fuck, I'm just creating trouble for myself lah. Agnes, you Bitch. Haha. Oh yes!!! Jason dropped by Happy Daze 'cause he was nearby. Hey, I miss that friend of mine. Haha. So we did some catching up & he has to rush off to join his friends for Billard. It was great to see you after such a long time(actually, it isn't that long, probably 1 month). Haha.

Oh, before I forget! Here are some pictures we took in school.

Afiq & I

Yin Min & I. Yay, love you.

Irna & I.

Oh Syiirin. Haha, hot! Love.

The four of us, finally. Haha

us.

Yin Min & Wan Ning.

Yi Ling, Me & Wan Ning. ;)

2006-11-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

Acceptance - So Contagious(I felt in love with this song the moment I heard it, & there it is, just play the track on the right)

Hello there! I'm back home from school. Today's boring boring Enterprise but overall, it's still alright, 'cause the faci's a super doper mad dog. He seems to be the clubbing kind, but a little bit of the nerdy side(because of his hair, maybe). He saw my shirt, & asked.. "Oh, is that why you were late in the morning". For the whole day, he has been calling me the boyfriend stealer. Haha. Funny lah, that guy. Oh, & of course, the same old usual thing the four of us enjoy the most. Gossiping & laughing our ass out when.. Yah, should get what I mean huh. Lol, damn. AGNES STOP BEING SO MEAN! Oh, & I fucking love post it notes. "Wah, Totally love it"(Matt's line, just that, he goes on & on). I used to like post it notes. Then, I got to know that Sheryl has the post it notes sotware. So I downloaded it too. It's damn cute lah. You can type notes/messages & all.

Alright, that's all for school. I'm erm, talking to him in msn now. It has been days since we last talked. He has been so busy lately, mainly because of the upcoming exams. But I really do enjoy talking to him. He's so funny & unexpected lah. He'll say things that are so random, at times. Haha, yes. Don't worry. I trying to really get over him, talk to him normally without my heart beating like 5X faster each time & not smile & giggle to myself at funny things he said. But Im pretty sure we'll stay good friends. What's more his exams are going to end soon. Let's hope we'll get to hang out soon. Oh, he remembered my birthday. That's pretty damn sweet & it touched my heart. others who might remember my birthday doesn't touch my heart that much, but he's an exception. & yes! You have 19 more days to go! Wooooh. Then, hopefully he'll end up working with me after that. Hahahaha.

& OH! 12 more days to my birthday.

Here are some pictures we took when lesson ended. Sad to say, I forgot to take pictures with Syiirin! Haha

Yin Min & I, on Monday.

Sheryl & I. Yay, haha, like finally! We took a picture.

& Home..

2006-10-31T12:06:00.000-08:00

Watashi-Wa
This lyrics is so beautiful & its exactly how I feel towards him.
+
+
Make the world new, Things you dream to do,
With love from me to you:

Well I've had a thousand dreams, but never one like this
And I've felt a million things, but never felt quite, quite, like this.
So tell me, what's your name?
And what's inside that heart of yours?
Tell me everything, just talk and I'll listen,
Just talk and I'll listen.

Come love, see the earth spin,
Watch the colors collide, with hope at our side,
All that is mine, with love from me to you.

Boy, tell me what's your dream, and I'll be there,
To serve your every need, yes, your every care,
All I have is yours, and all I have I'll give.

Morning meets with songs, sung like I've never heard,
And all the smells, and sights, that bright my life,
Can't contain this joy unheard.
So tell me, what's your name?
And what's inside that heart of yours?
Tell me everything, just talk and I'll listen,
Just talk and I'll listen.

Come love, see the earth spin,
Watch the colors collide, with hope at our side,
All that is mine, with love from me to you.

Boy tell me what's your dream, and I'll be there,
To serve your every need, yes, your every care,
All I have is yours, and all I have I'll give.

Make the world new.
Things you dream to do, With love from me to you..
Just talk and I'll listen, talk and I'll listen:
Come love, see the earth spin,
Watch the colors collide, with hope at our side,
All that is mine, with love from me to you.
Girl, tell me what's your dream, and I'll be there,
To serve your every need, yes, your every care,
All I have is yours, and all I have I'll give.
Boy, tell me what's your dream, talk and I'll listen

-
Oh, & so I skipped school again. It's actually for a reason, so I don't skip for nothing. Haha. I have an appointment. I've been getting breakouts more often now, & I fucking can't stand it. I believe, it's mainly because of my makeup. But fuck it, whatever it is, ITS GOING TO COST A BOMB. Most probably dropping by my workplace later on. What else. Hmm, I miss him.

2006-10-30T21:52:00.000-08:00

Copeland - Eat, Sleep, Repeat
Basically, School has taken up a big big major part of my life. What else can I say.. Hmm, well today was fine. I was really reluctant to wake up early this morning. But I remembered there's UT, so I have to go to school no matter what. Sadly, I dragged myself out of my comfy bed. I would trade my sleep for anything in this world man. School's still the same. The same old meetings, discussions, breaks. Oh, my team today was damn fun. Haha, was with Alex, Jeremy & Sheryl! They're damn funny lah. Oh & I went to Causeway Point with Afiq during lunch 'cause we finished work early. Oh, Lover had to rush off, so I didn't leave school with her. Went off with my classmates (:

Yay, getting my pay tomorrow. I'd better stop stop skipping school. Got to sleep early again. Till then, miss you guys out there. Especially people who I've not seen for months.

Happy Halloween!

Oh, damn shit. Oh holy shit. This guy here is SO HOT. Oliver Goodwill is damn yummy.

Where's my Heart now?
.
.
And I'd search for reason I'm awake
To hear this song march, blasphemy I'd take
And the only chance that I have tonight
Is if something that I ate made my dream's not right
And my love shows up in a dress of white

Where's my head?
Where's my head?
Where's my head?
Where's my head?

+
Love, Sincerely Me

2006-10-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

Thursday
Work, as usual. I'm feeling all tired & restless now. Okay anyway, Rookie Of The Year is great, but the vocalist is even better. Haha, find him damn cute lah! Look look! The one in the middle. Awwww. Anyway, I've got nothing much to blog about today. Alright, some updates since some people make it a point to read my blog everyday. Haha! No offence, I don't mind though. Okay, & so my dance lesson is commencing on 13 Nov, which is also my birthday. I'm getting my pay again next tuesday. O's is like, in a few days' time! Haha, I know it has got nothing to do with me but it has got something o do with him. So, it's still important ah. & yes, just good friends now. See, told you I'll be able to get over it & see how well I'm doing now. Yes, moved on.

I haven't got the time to blog about this & I kept forgetting. It's bothersome alright. No wonder people have bad impression on RP. Angelo says we have no future. Haha! & I'm beginning to wonder.. What he said may be true. But just look at this email which was sent out to all students in my poly. It's quite a turn-off? Ugly model. Haha. Don't even have a fucking fashion sense lah, please. Haha, & I actually take some time off my sleep to cirle out the spots which are really sick. Oh, inappropriate dressing. What the fuck.

2006-10-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

2 of my friends whom I smoked with, sometimes. Zac & Afiq!

Pretty Babe & I

Me, Yin Min & Syiirin. Pretty, aren't they?

The Arcade Fire
Hello there, I've been through hell the past few weeks but I guess I'm fine now. All ready to start or do anything crazy. Hahaha. Oh & anyway, I haven't been blogging much too. One more thing to add, Agnes' going to be 2X richer next month. Haha, 'cause her bloody seventeenth birthday is coming! Yes. More money from relatives, presents(that's if my lovely friends plan to get something for me, which I think they MAY, haha!), warm greetings. Ah, what matters most is the sincere & warm greetings yes? Alright, that's fucking bullshit. Haha, everyone says that. But, guess what? It's so fucking not true! Haha. Who wouldn't want gifts, gifts & more gifts. One could never get tired of it, & would never get enough of it. Yup. I'm pretty damn sure, if you're a human, you'll feel this way. Haha. On the surface, you'll go "Oh, nah, it's okay, don't don't, don't get me anything". Rubbish, Agnes. Hahaha.

I had a good chat on msn with JeremyFu, yup. That love actually remember my birthday! Oh, sweeeeeet. The other friend of mine too. Haha. Wonder whether I'll get some surprising & unexpected people coming up & wishing me. I mean, through msn or sms. The really unexpected ones. People whom I've erased from my memory. Haha! Damn, that's mean. Oh &&, I want to watch this movie, The Covenant. Seems very interesting

Oh, lastly, school wouldn't be hell rocking fun without them & of course, my loves from w14r. Sheryl, where are you? Haha, you missed the fun! & I'm so sorry, I tried my best to return as soon as possible. We'll take pictures next week! & blogger has decided to fuck up on me. I tried many times but failed to upload the rest of the pictures. Oh fuck, tomorrow lah.

Agnes means ~~purity~~, but HEY you're Impure
By Angelo. Haha, who else would be that dumb to come up with such thing. & we're like showing each other the sexual animation icons we have. How pure can he be? Haha.

2006-10-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

Electrico - Runaway

& so, guess what. My ever-so-smart sister(sorry, correction, only academically, she's quite stupid at times) got the top in class & top7 in level. Fuck, that's something to be proud of luh! Congrats, sis.

Oh, It's raining heavily out there now, but I'm feeling all good. Haha. Enjoying macs which just got delivered right to my doorstep. 19 more days to my Birthday. I swore I'm gonna have a hell lot of fun time on my birthday this year 'cause I don't get to celebrate it last year because of o's. & so, I suppose I'm going to have a bbq. Haha, well, I might, I might. Also, I want this to be a get-together for me & my friends out there who are so busy with both school & work. I fucking miss you guys lah! Yeah, specifically, "guys". Even my mom knows that I seem to have so many more male friends than female ones. Well, what can I say. They treat me as their confidante, I regard them not only as my friends, but some, my pillar of strength too. Haha. Yes, that's how sweet some guys can be.

Oh yeah, one last thing before I go! Due to my sudden urge/passion & partly, to benefit from my Diploma Scholarship, I decided to take up dance lessons again! It's just too bad that I don't have any IG in school. EEEE, school committments fucking turn me off alright. Yay. I have no bloody idea what I was thinking the previous time lah. I paid for it, went halfway & decided to skip consecutively after the 3rd & 4th lesson. First time, I feel so bad, because I really love dancing, & he asked me not to go. Alright alright, I'd better not mention him otherwise I'll be all emo again. Yup, but this time it's a different company & course. I'll be taking Street Jazz. Oh, how fun can it be. It'll be a long-term thing for me, I swear. Dead serious this time round. Haha. Woooh, with all the funky jazz & cool moves. Yay, Dance is coming back to my life again. Oh, Dancing rock my balls man. Eh, what the fuck am I saying? Damn, all those idiotic friends' influence. Haha! But it's alright.

I love guys.

2006-10-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

Fuck, just, just look at how fat I am now.

Selina looks like a AH-LIAN. FUNNY.

It's Mrs & Mr Quek

We're asked to act as couples AGAIN. He looks retarded here again. Lol. & can't you see I'm giving a false smile? HAHA

Loser!

Oh, what a lovely couple. Haha

Idiot! Haha.

Ellison
I wanted to blog about this yesterday but the connection decided to screw up on me. Fuck my internet connection alright. Anyway, yesterday was awesome. Out with Selina, Lin, Matt & Mel. At first, I thought, "Huh, only the pathetic five of us, how fun can it be". But it doesn't turn out to be this case. Alright, we went to Vivo at first. & fuck, I think we picked the wrong time to go there 'cause it's so fucking crowded. It's a public holiday. Helloooooo. Haha! Come on, even the MRT entrance&exit area was jammed. We had lunch at Earle Swensens. We shopped around, but the crowd was a fucking turn-off. So, we headed to Dhoby Gauht instead. We went to Secret Recipe for tea break. After which, to The Mind's Cafe near Parklane. Hmm well, it was my first time going there but it's fun! Haha. It's a cafe for people to hang out, play board games.. The food's quite cheap & the games are those which you've never seen before. We played the really "loud" ones. Those which we'll make alot of noise & are exciting. Damn funny. Oh, I've spent all my money today on food & entertainment ONLY. No clothes/accessories or whatever. Wow, surprising huh. Anyhow, today was well-spent. I mean, we people shouldn't be working our ass off on public holidays! It's the time for us to hang out & have fun!!! Haha. & thanks to Selina's friend, Robert(I think, sorry, I forgot his name), for giving us a lift.

Oh, Happy Birthday MATT!

2006-10-22T21:22:00.000-07:00

Rookie Of The Year
I tried cheesy fries for the first time in my life, & fuck I felt nauseous. Haha. Maybe because of this thought,"yucks, I'm eating cheese, I'm eating cheese! SICK", running in my mind. Damn, imagine the amount of courage I have at that point of time.

Oh anyway, work was rather screwed up today. The earlier part was alright, it was pouring, there were not much customers. It;s only when boss came. I made a fool of myself. I actually asked the manager a fucking stupid question. I got labelled for "stupid" because of that. Yes, laugh please, ya, laugh louder! Bloody hell. I was fucking affected by that alright. It just somehow slipped my mind. I'm at fault, I know. People may find it funny but I don't. I was really tired at that time, I know this is counted as an excuse. Maybe you could say my mind was elsewhere, I'm listless, I'm not focused, I'm forgetful or whatever. I should have been more aware. Yeah, everybody commit mistakes, don't you, Boss? Fucker, fucking lesbian. Sorry. I was really affected. If she really think that I'm "stupid" then dismiss me for all you want. I don't give a fuck. I'll make sure she gets hell from me first. Alright, just ignore this. I'm just merely venting my anger & frustrations on this blog. Who says it's stupid to pen down your thoughts on a blog so freely on?

& so, tuesday is a public holiday. Which means, there's no school for me! Most probably going out with W14R people. Oh, it has been so long. We need to go out! Haha, love you guys, totally. & halloween is round the corner too. Fuck, I need to C-L-U-B. Haha. I wonder when's my dad going out of town. It has been long too.

I've been thinking about it. I think, maybe I'm just not cut out to play sports. I guess it'll be better if I could just stick to dance & save all the trouble. Hahaha. Tennis isn't as easy, that's what people tell me. Yup, looking for dance courses again. BUT NOW! I'll be serious in it. Heheh.

2006-10-22T00:18:00.000-07:00

Hello folks, I'm back from work. I find the whole day very wearing. I got woken up by some commotion at home, which I'm quite pissed about. But whatever, can't be bothered. After which, left for my colleague, Gaston's house. & wow, his house is really spacious &lavish. He's damn rich. Haha! Then, I rushed off for work when the other usuals hanged out at his place(playing mahjong). I have no bloody idea why people enjoy playing mahjong so much. I was bored stiff, until they came, & life kind of become much better for me. Oh & everyone seem to be so sick of working there. With all new rules & "policies". "You can't do this, you can't do that" Tell me. Who wouldn't be turned off by such things! Oh fuck. Haha, alright. Agnes, you'd better cut down on your use & act of vulgarities. Many many people are complaining about your inappropriate behaviour. Hahaha.

I had another short conversation with him before I left house earlier this afternoon. & that was why I was late. Haha! I couldn't bear to leave, seriously.

"Taken Back By You"
This is my relapse
That I've succumb to
I went through things no one should have to
I could have never let this slip
I could have let this slip

And everything I do it reflects you
You went through things no one should have to
I could have never let this slip
I could have let this slip

And all those things you say out of nowhere
I'm taken back by you
And all those places that you've shown me
I'm taken back by you taken back by you

This is the future, can we save it?
We've done things no one thought we could do
This is the picture, can you paint it?
We could have let this slip

And nothing beats not knowing what's
Gonna happen next
For all the nights you've held me so long
I'm taken back by you, taken back by you

Yeah I owe, everything to you
Every darkness, I'll shine through
I have doubts, don't blame me
Don't let this slip, don't let this slip

2006-10-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

30 seconds to mars
& so, yesterday was another working day for me & the usuals. The haze was so bad that I felt as if I've smoked a packet of cigs, my workplace was so stuffy that it has practically no ventilation at all. & that fucking results to my giddiness. I almost fainted, oh god. Haha!

Me, "Boss name, can I please rest for awhile? I'm feeling a little giddy"
boss, "wah, why are you so weak? but its really quite stuffy here." "are you okay? what time can you work till?"
I said, "as planned, 11pm"(It was 4.30pm then)
Boss, "what? I think you can go home earlier, maybe 7pm. eh, no. you'd better go home & rest now"
I said, "Noooooo! I don't want to go home. I skipped school to work lah!"

Haha. Thank god I felt much better, when those assholes come making fun of me because of that. Haha, suckers. I wanted to change my working environment. But, come to think of it, work will not be that fun without them. So I guess it would be better if I stick to this job for the time being.

Now, I'm glad that you're still happy with your life despite the amount of exam stress & pressure. Yup, chin up chin up. Our conversations.. They're improving. They're becoming more like the past, which is great. The never-ending topics you'll go on & on about. Maybe, maybe I'm better off this way.

Oh Lovely,
All in a day,
See it for yourself,
I'll make no change,
When you are somewhere else,
And I'll write for you,
Every chance I get,
Tell me you'll listen,
And say you won't forget

And I'll never say I don't have time,
when you need me with you,
I'll stand in line,
if you want me to,
and I'll wait for you,
I'll wait for you

Everyday,
See it for yourself,
I'll make no plans,
When you are somewhere else,
And I'll sing for you,
Songs that no one hears,
But tell me you'll listen,
And say I'll have your ears

And I'll never say I don't have time,
when you need me with you,
I'll stand in line, if you want me to,
and I'll wait for you,I'll wait for you

And if you have something to say,
Know I won't look away,
No, I won't look away,

And I'll never say I don't have time,
when you need me with you,
I'll stand in line, if you want me to,
and I'll wait for you,
I'll wait for you, I'll wait for you

I'll keep on waiting for you,
~~You'd wait for me~~
I'll keep on waiting for you,
~~You'd wait for me (yeah),~~
I'll keep on waiting for you,
~~You'd wait for me,~~
I'll keep on waiting for you (I'll keep on waiting)
~~You'd wait for me~~

Love,
Sincerely Me.

"I'll keep on waiting for you", each time I said it, I felt more & more exhausted. I'm beginning to lack self-confidence, but importantly, confidence in guys. The word "guys" sicken me, not to even mention the names.

She overwhelmed me with Guilt. I feel so damn bad yesterday. But thank god it's all gone now.

Anyhow, I'm working later again. Don't ask me why I always seem to be stuck at work, work & still work. I just want more cash. Because I want to buy so many things. Haha.

2006-10-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

Spitalfield - Secrets in mirrors

Daryl showed me this:
Cervical cancer. Women smokers have double the chance of developing cervical cancer compared to non-smokers.
Breast cancer. Women smokers are 30% more likely to develop breast cancer than non-smokers.
Osteoporosis. Women smokers have a higher risk of hip fractures than non-smokers.
Women who smoke are more likely to experience reduced fertility, irregular/painful menstruation and early menopause.

Fuck, that's freaking me out. Wow, thanks friend. Haha, for even going to the trouble to research about the harmful effects for smoking, for me. I truly appreciate all you guys' concern lah. I'm really trying now. Thanks, I'm so touched. You guys are even more concerned about my health than myself.

& I'm so fucking scared now. Angelo has been going on & on & on about the supernatural stuffs that occur in his country. & everything's freaking me out. It's the first time I kept closing the window & forcing myself not to see what's he has just typed. Fucker fucker fucker! Haha. I'm freaked out & he kept telling me about those stuffs.

2006-10-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

Daphne Loves Derby - Simple, Starving To Be Safe
Boooo, I'm so bored, so so bored. I guess that's what I get for not going to school. Boring. I want to go to Gardens. Gardens has become my second home now that I work there about 2-3 days each week. Oh, & I'll be skipping school tomorrow too because I've promised my boss that I'll work from afternoon till night.

& Matt steals pictures & put them as his display picture. Haha. Oh & not only that, he likes to make fun of my msn nick too. Haha, fuck.

Oh & there are more & more brands coming up now. Fred Perry(I think it's really nice), Mooks, JunkFood(which has been going on for quite sometime), AE, Wetseal etc. Oh, I have a new found favourite brand now, Lacoste! I want to get the pair of sneakers & the shirts. A&F is going down! Booooo. I used to like that brand alot. But you can see everyone wearing that brand now & 8 out of 10 are fake stuffs.

I want to get out of house so badly. Talking to Syiirin makes me feel better now, at least I'm not that bored anymore. Haha. We can all click quite well. Haha. She didn't go to school, Afiq didn't go to schoo, Hmm.. who else. Haha, science is just not my thing. I suck at it.

I'm really beginning to move on now. Thanks to all the encouragement from my friends. Love you guys. I need more time.

So, this is for you again. I feel that this lyrics truly reflects how I am feeling right now
Hello sunshine,
Where have you been?
I've been waiting so long to hear from you.
And all the things that we said we would do,
Remains to be plans of the past.

We've been, we've been too quiet for too long.
Where is, where is the hope we once had?
It's too late to be saved by your charm,
We'll never get this right.

Your words are cold, and the season is too,
The comfort in your voice is gone.
Don't keep in touch, I'm better off all alone.
You've lost everything that I've loved.

So is it worth this time?
Am I done in your mind?
Will I regret once you're gone?
Why did I ever think that we would, we would be good?

We've been, we've been too quiet for too long.
Where is, where is the hope we once had?
It's too late to be saved by your charm,
We'll never get this right.

Well, alright, I'm sorry I even tried.
I was a fool to have hope in you, in you.

Alright, here are just some random picture, when I got home from school.

2006-10-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

Thursday - Telegraph Avenue Kiss(edited)
Girls bitch, gossip & cat fight. Well, I feel that's bad enough. BUT but but! Guys play politics! Beware of them. They're like Time bombs whose true colours may real anytime, CAN BE real mean hyprocrites or backstabbers compared to girls. Oh god oh god. Sheryl told me something about guy politics, Afiq too. Guys guys guys. On the surface, they may seem to be good friends, but behind one another's back, they talk bad & give negative comments. Well, unlike girls who gossip about other girls, guys are much much more scheming & cunning. Trust me man. Oh, reminds of Mel, HPC. Haha, nah I'm just kidding. He's a pretty nice guy lah. Just one thing bad about him when it comes to HPC. He hangs out with his current classmates 24/7 & I hardly see him around. Oh you, asscrack.

Had fun talking to my two new found friends/babes, gossiping, to be exact. Hahah, it's damn funny lah. & I thought my eye liners' going to smudge. Oh fuck. Oh anyway, Lover & I went to Kah Mun's class during 2nd breakout. Oh, you know my main purpose in going there *bimbo tone. It's pretty obvious huh. I think I'm so good in acting. I mean, under such situations where I pretend not to notice & bother about him AT ALL but can't stop staring when he isn't aware of it! Damn it. You're cunning, Agnes.

& so I guess I'm feeling much better now. I need a smoking break before the presentation too. Otherwise I'll most probably screw up during presentation & my brain can't fucking function. Hahaha. Agnes, please stop please stop! Friends, don't tempt me. Just by asking, I'm already tempted. Agnes Agnes.

& Sheryl! You'd better win today's match! Otherwise, Brownie tomorrow's on you!!! Haha.

Oh, I just saw Lover's blog entry. Oh, that's so sweeeeeeeeeeeet! You blog specially for me. Well, about smoking. Yes, I'm quitting. Serious serious.

I have a sudden craving for mayo fries now. Hahaha. I dont know why but I have quite a number of sudden cravings. Oreo milkshake, brownie, cup noodles, now fries. Stupid.

I was thinking whether to suggest to my dad to change the destination of our overseas trip to Phillipines. Haha. & Angelo has been going on & on about his country, talking about how beautiful it is. Can't you see he really love his country that much & he can't bear to leave Singapore because of me? HAHAHAHA!

&&& I can't believe that Serene & I actually promised our two lovely younger sisters that we'll bring them to the Zoo after their exams. Just imagine. Agnes, with her sisters, going to the Zoo, doing stupid stuffs, taking pictures with creatures that she dont even like(remember, she doesnt like animals?). Oh god! Haha

2006-10-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

The Spill Canvas

It's pretty damn sweet to receive such a random but heartwarming message from JeremyFu. Hahaha. Man, it never fails to lighten up my mood. & thanks so much to some of my W16L classmates for being so concerned about things that are troubling me. It is indeed very touching. Haha, yup. Classmates that I'm known for a only a mere 1 month. How sweet. Sorry again, team mates, for not contributing much today. Oh, & as much as I've guessed, I really got a C for cock, oops sorry, cog I mean. Haha. I'm not a least bit bothered okay. But damn. My first C for this semester. Hahaha!

& daddy has planned to bring us all to China during the next coming holidays. What, come again!!!???? China, again? Fuck. I won't deny that Shanghai's nice, but please no. I don't want to go to Shanghai again. The places of interest, shopping malls & fashion kind of sicken me. Sorry, no offence man. I would rather go to Bangkok instead. Oh, Bangkok is love. Awesome lah, except maybe for the transexuals, who may be quite interesting to look at, sometimes! Hahaha.

Oh, I was talking to Selina about JC guys after school earlier this afternoon. & she said that they're very Horny! Haha. So, I was like.. "Well, you know, I don't mind a horny boyfriend". I've been having bad hair days for the past few days. I have to learn how to survive bad hair days. Fancy talking about such unrelated stuff at this point of time. & I guess I've been thinking about him way too much that.. he even appeared in my dreams? Damn, all these shit will only make it worse. Seriously. Ah, have you guys ever feel that you no longer enjoy doing the things you once loved, don't want to get out of bed, having problems concentrating? Haha, seems like all the symptoms of Depression. HAHAHAHAHA. But depression is different from having a down day. Maybe it's just a down day when Agnes is only interested in emoing with his favourite band. I finished my packet. Hmmmm, that's definitely making me feel like getting another packet tomorrow.. not!

I read something about kissing from a book. Haha, find it really TRUE. Here it goes: The problem with kissing is that girls love it & can do it for hours & be happy with just that, whereas guys love it but after two minutes they get a message from 'downstairs' saying, "That's enough kissing, what about me?". Hehe, real cute. & yes, it's fucking true. *grins

& this is for you,
You said you would be my dream. I could have you every night and if, by morning, I had forgotten you, well, no big deal, it would be all right 'cause you are the reoccurring kind. You are the reoccurring kind. You never really leave my mind. Are you the love of my lifetime? 'Cause there have been times I have had my doubts. You will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.

I don't know what to say to you. I initiated a conversation in the morning.. But fuck, I don't know what to say. Everything just sound so wrong & seem so awkward. Whatever it is, I concluded that I can't get anything right when I'm in school.

2006-10-16T21:45:00.000-07:00

This is the 3rd time I'm blogging today & I know it's stupid. Ah well, I just can't help it. Can you believe that I'm actually listening to love songs now & it makes me feel like.. Fuck. Throw me any emo song now & see me cry. I'm really on the verge to do so. I miss him, I really really really really really do.

I'm emotionally drained right now. You're the closet to my heart & I truly feel very strongly for you. I used to think that expensive, bigger surprises & sweet talks are everything. But you proved me wrong. You made me feel differently. Now, I'm easily satisfied with the smallest thing. Even though I'm the one who asked for it, your words are like pricks & thorns piercng through every part of me.

Pardon me for those nonsense. I just have to blog. But I'm seriously seriously very worn out now.

2006-10-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

NO SMOKING PLEASE. HAHA

MY TWO YOUNGER SISTERS CAN BE A PAIN IN THE ASS BUT SWEET ASS AT TIMES

OH OH, THIS IS WORST. SHE GET ON MY NERVES ALL THE TIME! AHAHA.

2006-10-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

MxPx

I just dumped the expensive & once-loved notebook down the bin. I was so upset that time that I tore off all the written pages the other time. I took it out just now, saw the tore marks, & just felt like throwing it away. In the first place, I shouldn't even have written anything about you in it. Wait, it consists of not only you, but also, Guilt, those horrible but loving moments, my thoughts etc. Fuck, I can't draw, I can't do poetry, I can't do lyrics. What else can I do except for penning thoughts over & over again, hoping that, maybe someday, somehow, you'll get to read it.

Hey, baby. I miss you. & please don't let me fall for this new friend of mine who resembles you. But I won't deny that he's much good looking & has a better personality. Sometimes I wonder.. Or maybe I was too desperate for a boyfriend. Desperate for a rocker boyfriend. Hahaha! I don't know. Holy shit. I swear I'll get one otherwise I can jolly well go for a butch/ Be my fucking witness, you people out there.

&& nothing I do seems to be right. Monday was screwed, presentation was screwed, everything was. Sorry team mates, I wasn't able to concentrate today. My brain just somehow, couldn't work.

Hello world, goodbye world. Sorry, just being random & acting silly.

& I think I need to get a tattoo soon. I really need one. Hahaha. I sound mad. Nah, I guess it's not really necessary but I don't mind getting one. I began to like everything you're crazy with. Fuck, what the hell am I thinking? Haven't you told yourself to stop & just move on? I was not feeling well earlier this afternoon. Slight headache, gastric, oh or should I say, just lovesick? Fuck. I can't stand it. Oh, maybe I need ***. Haha! Nah, just kidding. I shut myself away from the outside world, I feel that I'm not myself now.. I shut myself away from other guys, dates.. & no, I'm not consoling myself by saying that alright.

& fuck! I smoked again. I despise myself for not having a strong determination. Come on lah. I feel like smoking till I have difficulty breathing, till my lungs turned black, till I get cancer, till my hair started to drop, till very part of my body ache like hell & die a terrible death. Thats seriously STUPID. I won't want that to happen to me. Better quit soon.

I wanna tell him that I'm doing fine without him. I can get a hotter & better guy than he is. The haze is so bad that, whenever I'm outdoors laughing, I feel as if I'm suffocating. Hahaha!

2006-10-15T23:22:00.000-07:00

Work was okey-dokey. Haha, it was.. passable lah.

It was my mom's birthday & we had dinner at gardens. Serene & I each gave her 40 bucks to help her with part of the bill. The food was.. Ah well, satisfactory. After which, Serene, Jas & I went over to coffeebean. I had my usual drink(mocha frap). Went over to my work place quite a few times. Haha! Just miss them lah. It's weird 'cause I was supposed to work. I got my pay for the first half of this month. Wooh, that was fast. They have some new policies & all. Kind of stupid? Hahaha. Smoking breaks: Each staff is entitled 2 smoking breaks. Each staff is to wear their name tag or be fined 10 bucks. No chit-chatting. No SMS-ing during working hours. Haiyo, getting more & more ridiculous, seriously. Luckily I quitted smoking. I've decided not to go to school next friday because.. I'll be working in the afternoon. My mom's gonna nag again. Hohoho. Anyway, school tomorrow. B-O-R-I-N-G!

I was planning to have a birthday party. Hahaha. Cost wise.. Yup, still deciding. Oh, Halloween Halloween. Daddy please be out of town. I want to go to some hot party in town. Haha

2006-10-15T00:48:00.000-07:00

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus(GOD, I'M LIKE SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH THIS AWESOME BAND)

I WONDER HOW IT FEELS LIKE TYPING & YAKKING NON STOP IN CAPS. FUN ISN'T IT. HAHA! I SOUND LIKE I'M SHOUTING, YELLING.. PEOPLE COULD FEEL MY ENTHUSIAISM, EXCITEMENT, HAPPINESS, ANGER,

:MY HEART, IT BEATS, IT BEATS FOR ONLY YOU.
HEY, YOUR NICK. IT'S NOT REFERRING TO ME RIGHT?

HAHAHA. IT IS, INDEED, REFERRING TO YOU. WHO ELSE. TELL ME. WHO ELSE CAN MAKE MY HEART BEAT SO MANY TIMES FASTER. WHO CAN MAKE IT SKIP A FEW BEATS, EXCEPT FOR YOU. WHO ELSE IN THIS BLOODY WORLD CAN CAUSE MY HEART TO STOP BEATING. WHO CAN MY HEART BEAT FOR, OTHER THAN YOU YOU YOU. IT'S PRETTY SAD TO KNOW THAT WE'RE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE. PERHAPS IT'S A BLESSING IN DISGUISE. OR MAYBE, MAYBE GOD IS HINTING ME TO GO FOR SOMEONE BETTER? PEOPLE OFTEN CONSOLE ME, TELLING ME THAT THIS GUY IS NOT WORTH IT, THAT GUY'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU & ALL. BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER.. DOESN'T PART OF THE PROBLEM LIE WITH ME?

OH, MY BIRTHDAY'S ABOUT A MONTH AWAY. HAHA, BIRTHDAY MEAN NOTHING TO ME NOW THAT I KNOW YOU'RE GONE FROM ME. I FEEL THAT, TO FORGET SOMEONE.. SOMEONE ELSE HAS TO TAKE OVER HIS PLACE IN ONE'S HEART. WELL, TO ME IT'S THE FASTEST & MOST EFFECTIVE WAY.

SERENE IS LYING ON THE BED BESIDE ME RIGHT NOW, WATCHING HER STUPID KOREAN DRAMA SERIAL, LAUGHING HER ASS OFF. DAMN, YOU SOUND AWFUL WITH THE EARPHONES PLUGGED IN. AHAHA. ANYONE OF YOU TRIED SINGING WITH EARPHONES & MUSIC BLASTING? DAMN, 9 OUT OF 10 SOUNDED LIKE SHIT.

OH, I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING. I SMOKED MY LAST CIG & I'M THROUGH WITH SMOKING, SERIOUSLY. OH COME ON, 4 OUT OF 5 PEOPLE IN RP, SMOKE. HAHA. WHAT NONSENSE!

ANYWAY, I CAME ACROSS THIS WEBSITE THROUGH KEITH'S FRIENDSTER. IT'S QUITE MEANINGFUL. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO TAKE A LOOK AT IT & LIGHT A CANDLE TO HELP THOSE INNOCENT CHILDREN? LIGHTAMILLIONCANDLES.COM, MAKE IT A MILLION. SPREAD THE WORD. (:

ALRIGHT

2006-10-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

Underoath - Writing on the walls
Maybe we, Why don't we sit right here for half an hour
We'll speak of what a waste I am and how we missed your beat again

I swear we need to find some comfort in this run down place
To bridge the gap of this conscious state that we live in
I'm short of time

How come you try and fit the shape of what they tell you
But mostly what they show you that brings us home
I pray for you to move on

At this rate we can't keep up but I sure can't just sit still
I'm taking back all the things I said
Keep me filled in, I swear I'll come

We walk alone back home

You're almost gone and I'm okay to give you time to be afraid
I still see your shadow but never your face again
I remember your presence

I hope to God you come down
I hope to god you can feel this now

I know there must be some way out of here and all of them will be waiting there

It isn't easy, it really isn't. It has been a couple of days already. I still can't get over it. But I guess it's a matter of time that I'll forget you & those little little things. Ah, anyway I've already decided to quit smoking. It's bad, it really is. Just think about it. The school bans us from smoking inside the school compound. So, we have to make our way to the overhead bridge, & sometimes if we're unlucky, all the way to the opp busstop. It's loathesome. Oh, & Daryl's damn naggy, I tell you. He can be as worse as your grandma. Hahaha! Just kidding friend. But thanks for your concern. I'm quitting, I'm quitting. Yes, I fucking agree that the consequences is too much for one to bear. & Thanks to Ganesh too. For being ever so sweet to even suggest that he'll make a powerpoint on how smoking can affect my life, for me. Thanks, that's sweet. & to lover, it has always been nice talking to you, pouring my heart out to you, hanging out with you, everything lah! You're the best babe.

Anyway, I went shopping at town, AGAIN. I bough a new pair of black shoes. I wonder how girls can tolerate wearing high heels especially when they're out shopping or for a long period of time. There were times that I thought, maybe, maybe I'll be able to tolerate it. Other girls are able to, so why can't I? But I always end up regretting in the end. Cursing, swearing, never to wear heels again. I have been spending alot of money recently. I swear I need to work more starting from next week. Haha! Swear swear swear. Agnes likes swearing.

I've been hanging out with my school mates most of the time, now. I don't really get to talk to other friends out there. They've been pretty busy with school. How sad. I miss them, a hell lot.

Fuck fuck fuck. I fucking NEED to club.

& Just one random thing before I go.. I want, oh no, WANT a boyfriend now. Haha, even though people have been telling me to take my time. But I'm pretty serious time time. I fucking envy couples. Lol!

2006-10-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

Spitalfield - current album("Better than knowing where you are")

Oh fuck. It's the second time this week that I skipped school again. I just loathe going to school nowadays. The problems we get each day is cock & getting more & more ridiculous. But I guess.. we just have to bear with it. Yes yes! Can't wait till second year starts! At least we'll be doing something related to my course. Oh, finally!

My new classmate, Alex is damn funny, I tell you. We don't normally talk in class. I guess it's because he still treats me as a stranger. Haha! He said stupid things to make me laugh. Lol, "I am already laughing, but at how silly you are". Haha. Afiq didn't go to school today too! Oh, what a coincidence ah. Hahaha. I'm not working later on but will still be meeting Xi Ping. Where to go? Fuck, I have no bloody idea. Went for the interview with Xi Ping, just the both of us, & now we get to know a few more people. Very fun people, I would say. Another of friend might be joining us at work too. Woooh. Haha. Work has never been so fun, oops. I mean, with colleagues.

Oh, it's my mom's 42nd birthday this sunday! I'm still thinking where to celebrate it. Marina Square? Suntec City? No idea. Any suggestions?

2006-10-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

Plus44

Oh, I just realised it has already been close to a month since the 2nd semester started. Wow. Haha, I think that my class hasn't really open up to one another yet. But, still doing fine though. Haha. Guess we'll be much closer after awhile. Waiting for my malay friends to break fast so we can go for breakfast & lunch together yes? Lol. They're really funny.

&&& Halloween is round the corner people. Haha, let's party. Yay. Maybe we should suggest to SHL to have a Halloween party huh. Lol. SHL people are cool lah. Anyway, I was filling up the Integrated Events Management scholarship form & realised that, I'm not really eligible for it because.. I don't have an IG. Oh, holy shit. Haha. & right now, I'm seriously considering whether or not I should take up an IG. Perhaps, Tennis? Squash(That's if they have that in school). What else.. Hmmm, can't think of lah.

I've been doing quite a number of sit-ups, crunches.. Hoping to get rid of my tummy & tone up my arms & legs. Matt always say that I have "flabs". Hahah. I hate that.

I seriously want to learn Tennis. I've been trying to work more this month too. So that I can buy a good racket after I got my 2nd pay. Ganesh said, "Eh, you sure you can play Tennis with this size of yours?" Damn bad lah. Yes, I really want to. & oh fuck, I couldn't, couldn;t, couldn't stand it. So I bought cigs today again. Haha. The feelings just.. Ahhh, it just feels so right & good.

2006-10-11T19:32:00.000-07:00

2006-10-11T18:00:00.000-07:00

Muse

Ah, I didn't go to school again. Haha, I've counted. I can afford to skip quite number of times & my grade wouldn't really be affected. Yup, I'm damn lazy lah. & am so sick & tired of my mom's nagging. She has been nagging nonstop, asking why I didn't want to go to school & all. But I don't really care. Haha. Anyway, I have an excuse for not attending school alright. I had a slight headache in the morning, so I was thinking, "Hmm, better not go". Holy shit, I totally forgot there's UT today! Bloody hell. Haha. What done is done. Neveermind then.

I just watched a dvd, World Trade Center, an hour ago. I would give it 3.5 stars out of 5. It wasn't that amazing & "wow" after all. I kind of expected more. So, what have I been doing at home the whole afternoon? Hmm, let me see. Eat, watch dvds, download songs, chat, what else? Oh ya. I fell in love with Jay Chou's album. Haha, his songs always amaze me man. Agnes: "So cheena, listen to chinese songs!" Haha, I don't care. I think he's good & that's it.

I'm still trying, trying to get used to life without him appearing in my mind every few minutes/hour. I've just realised I can get really emo at times huh. Haha, what the fuck am I thinking man. Oh come on, just move on sucker. Move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on move on.

2006-10-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

A Static Lullaby (New album out 10/10/2006)

Today was yet another boring school day. Selina(lover, lover) & I want to learn Tennis. Yup, but i heard it's hard. First, I'm going to get a good racket & learn the correct way. I want to make it my only sport, the sport I love & the sport that I'll do every week. Yay. Cool. &The msn conversation with Angelo was great. It's always nice talking to him. Everything. Especially heart-to-heart talks, because I feel that I can really relate to him. I've been through some shit the last weekend. Some serious shit. Fuck, I hate it.

& right now, I'm having a conversation with him. I don't understand why I like him so much. If you were to ask me, "Hey, Why him why him?" Well, I would say it's just everything about him. I've been through it like, thousands of times that I can no longer feel my heart beating. Oh, is it still beating? I thought it has been captured by that someone. &&& on this very night, this cold & bitter night. I asked him to just hit me hard. It'll be a heavy blow to me, I know. But just fucking do it. He did it. & so, I thought I would be okay. But no, fuck I hate this. I'm just doing fine, I'm fine, I'm okay. Smiling away.. I so feel like crying my heart out right now. I can't I can't I can't. You will NEVER know how much you mean to me. We may not get to see each other often, might not get to talk to each other every day. But somehow, it's this feeling that's instilled in me. Which I guess, will be hard to replace. I asked for it, so I have to face it no matter what. Puh-leaseeeee, Agnes. You're a down-to-earth person, I thought? You can still tell him you're gonna be fine when he tried to ask you not to be upset & console you. Oh, what shit have you gotten yourself into. I fucking feel like downing the whole fucking bottle of Martell, get drunk, & die. Drink, drunk, die. & I guess, you're the reason why my heart started beating again.
.
.
.
I am finding out that maybe I was wrong. That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone. Stay with me, this is what I need, please? Sing me a song and I'll sing it back to you. I could sing our own but what would it be without you? I am nothing now and it's been so long. Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope. This time I will be listening. Sing me a song and I'll sing it back to you. I could sing our own but what would it be without you?
This heart, it beats, beats for only you. This heart, it beats, beats for only you. This heart, it beats, beats for only you.My heart is yours. This heart, it beats, beats for only you. My heart is yours(My heart, it beats for you). This heart, it beats, beats for only you(It beats, beats for only you. My heart is yours)My heart, my heart is yours(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away)My heart, my heart is yours(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away)My heart is yours. My heart is your's(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away)My heart is yours. My heart is..
.
.
I think I might cry my eyes out the whole night. But I know, I'm pretty sure it'll be the last time I feel something for you. Have anyone of you felt yourself tearing inside? This hurts so much that I no longer know what real tears are. What's the purpose in tearing on the outside anyway? Who gets to see it? Yourself. No one knows. No one understands. Do you know how it feels like when your heart is tearing, bleeding, everything that hurts, I have it all.

2006-10-07T23:19:00.000-07:00

Saosin

I went shopping with my sister today! Went to get my pay before that. && We did major shopping. I spent close to 150 bucks today. Wow, it has been long since I last splurged on shopping. Yeah & I agree there were times when I bought things on impluse. I wanted to try a different brand today, so I bought Virginia Slims. Haha! It's shit, trust me. I hate it. No kick, baby, no kick. I regretted though. There wasnt' even a proper cover. So, had to buy a cigarette box in the end. What a waste of money. Fuck, I swear I'm going to quit soon man. Let's see, I bought one new black bag, 2 bottoms, 1 necklace. Oh, I need to work more so I can buy more. I didn't work today! Ahaha.

Anyway, I'll be working tomorrow morning. Oh, that's tiring. Anyhow, today was well spent.
.
.
.
Oh, If only dreams werereal.

All i've been feeling was everything.
I was looking at you every second of every night
I was finding excuses to hold you tight
It was a dream(it was a dream)

But why must dreams(but why must dreams) become nightmares.
Every minute that passes, I think of him.
Regret is the torture thats killing me from the inside

All i've ever wanted was,
all i've ever feeling was,
all i've ever needed was everything..

I was looking at you every second of every night,
i was finding excuses to hold you tight.
It was a dream(it was a dream)
but why must dreams(but why must dreams) become nightmares

So take every moment,
out on your own.
And to make it better,
pretend you're not gold.
And you're sticking the sheets all alone in your home.
This makes you believe that you've lost all your hopes and dreams.
Why can't dreams be a reality?

2006-10-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Oh well, yesterday was one of the worst fridays. But that statement is only referring to the first half of the day. It was the mathematics module & my team screwed it all up. I think we're so dead lah. Hahaha! But fuck, it's over. So I shall not elaborate on it. I was in the interchange, busy messaging Jason & the other friend that I.. Banged into the metal pole. Fuck, it was the most embarrassing thing ever! What's worse, I was alone. Haha, if I were with some friends, maybe we could just laugh it off. But, NO. I was alone. I was happily messaging away, & before I knew it, I looked up & bumped into the pole. Got a shock of my life. That "Ponk" sound made me wanna laugh out loud but people will give me weird stares if I really did that. The worst thing was, the worst thing was.. I'm always used to saying sorry whenever I bumped into something. & 9 out of 10 times, I'll bump into someone rather than something. So, I said sorry. "I thought I bumped into smeone lah!" Fucking embarrassing. Then, I turned to a girl walking beside me, giving me that are-you-okay look, & said "sorry sorry" to her. I think, I think I did bump into her accidentally. But LOL! Damn funny.

Anyway, I met some of my colleagues for dinner & hanged out at my workplace, AGAIN. Haha, poker cards, FOC drinks.. They're full of crap lah. Some friend of mine didn't turn up & he's so going to get it from me man. Hahaha. & shit, these few days I've been smoking again. More than what I usually smoke, still. Fuck.

Oh, I fucking hate the haze. It's getting worse as each day passes by. I have a little breathing difficulties a few days ago & I thought it's because of the smoking, but no. I think it's the haze. It's annoying, I don't know why.

I've decided not to work today. Yay! I'm going shopping with my sister. Oh, & to get my pay from the modelling agency. Wooohoo.

2006-10-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

I've come to this point in my life where I'm starting to lose hope in myself and all the things I do. There's so much and I can bearly cope putting on the strong, brave front and smiles that I usually have whenever anyone sees me. I'm still overwhelmed by the hurts I faced with throughout this period of her life. It's silly to let all these emotions take its control over me. I've always consoled myself by constantly reminding myself that it would be alright as long as I've tried my best & maybe we're just not meant to be. But for now, screw it alright! Screw strong! Screw the emotions! Screw you. Screw it all. I care too much, and at the end of it I ask myself is it all worth it? I've always been there when you're down or sad or lonely, haven't I? Will he appreciate it? Yes, I know he does. I can feel how sincere he sounded when he said that but.. it's just not the type of appreciation I want from him. Get it?

But whatever it is, thanks for making me feel so deeply for someone after such a long long time. Thanks for coming into my life. You make me feel that everything I do for you is worth it. Those short moments had been the best, I swear. Maybe, loving you has been a mistake right from the start.

Alright, fuck all this emo shit. Haha. But I'm really determined to give up. Seriously. Yes, Agnes can definitely do it. She's determined to quit.. & now, she really has. Though there are often temptations whenever her friends start smoking, she has been trying to bear with it. Yes, yes you can do it. Has been reminding myself.. "Oh come on, there are so many guys out there. Oh please, just open your eyes wider. Make sure, don't ever fall for playboys again. Once, is enough."

I didn't go to school today. Was too tired +++ I had stomach upset. I guess it's due to the oreo milkshake I had in school, which taste like crap. Anyway, will be catching a movie later! Oh & today's Benjamin's birthday!!! I totally forgot about it, otherwise I would have gone to school. They had a small celebration for him & had a cake fight. Haha! Wah, thank god. Otherwise, how am I suppose to go out with cake smashed all over my clothes.

Anyhow, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY BENGAYMIN! I know you're very proud that you've turned 18 now. Haha.

2006-10-02T23:17:00.000-07:00

Taking back sunday

Monday blues! Monday is always boring & everyone just seem so sleepy. Ahaha. That part time faci was cock. Anything she says makes no sense to me & she's damn long-winded. Wooh, what a turn off. What's more, on a monday! Damn. Anyway, met up with the rest during breakfast & after school. It has always been nice seeing all of you in school. Haha.

Had dinner at home, then had to rush off. Mom was kind enough to sent me to my workplace to collect my pay! Woohooo. Haha, but it's quite pathetic. $302.50. Not that bad lah, I work mostly on weekends, so what else can I expect. Anyway, had hell of a fun time with my colleagues. Crapping, playing poker cards, & enjoying the FOC drinks & finger food. Wah, that's great. But fuck, I'm so bad at it that I lost $8+. Oh fuck it! Hahaha

& now.. Agnes decides to start their JC guy hunt. Haha. Yay! They're hot lah. Damn.

2006-10-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

Jack's Mannequin

It was.. yet another disappointment. Trust me on this, I thought maybe this time, this guy, is the right one. People, please do me a favour by not asking me what all this is about. I really don't feel that talking about this. This is just one other guy. To you, to you, to you. Just, just get out of my life. I know You've just came into my life only recently. But, what do you take me for? When I first got to know you, you just "broke up" wit your girlfriend. You tried all means to get me out. Lunch, clubbing, late night meet ups, wake boarding.. what else? I should have never even know you right from the start. It was a mistake. Everything just seem so wrong to me now. The things you do just puzzled me. & now what? Now that you're back with your girlfriend, you chucked me aside. Fuck you. I'm just disappointed that I have a "friend" like him. That's all. I'm through with guys lah, seriously.

Oh anyway, work was exhausting. Till the end, I was just so sleepy. My fucking mood was affected by that "friend of mine". But someone's message kind of brighten up my day. It was very random, but so far, the sweetest random message I've ever received. Thanks, dear friend. Maybe we should meet up soon too.

I met up with my sister after work, for dinner. Oh, it has been long. Had a really great time catching up. Dinner was good too.

2006-09-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

Cute is what we aim for
This morning, I woke up with a shock. "oh god damn it, I haven't done my work yet!!!" Hopped out of bed, switched on my laptop, just to know that the assignments are due tonight. Phewwww, thank god thank god. Haha. Hey, I'm very serious & focused on my studies now alright. 3.1 last semester, isnt good enough. I want a 3.5 at least. Gonna work extra hard this semester! Yes!!! Lol, mad.

(3.1+x)/2 = 3.5
x = my overall GPA for this semester
Damn, Have to achieve 3.9 in order to get an overall grade of 3.5 for year one.
WOW.

Oh, I just realised I haven't blogged about Singapore Idol 2006. Haha! It has been close to a week now. Ooops. Firstly, I feel that it's right for Singaporeans to support local talentimes like that. Not many support local talents nowadays. It doesn't hurt to support the local music scene. I recalled the times on how i used to think little of our local performers. I believe they're not up to standard, they're shit compared to the other bands in the western countries. But somehow, I feel that I'm wrong to make that judgment 'cause it's not the case. Hahaha. Oh anyway, back to the topic. All along, I prefer Jonathan to Hady. I just feel that he has the whole package. Not saying Hady isn't deserving of the title but Jon proved to be a better choice. More successful, well-liked & unique, thats what I think. So, Jon over Hady anytime!!! Lol.

Yesterday, september 29 2006
Nowadays, I feel that going to school can be quite a chore. Boring, as usual. It has indeed taken up a major part of my schedule. I managed to get out of class one hour earlier than everybody! Yay. Hahah. Oh yes yes yes. Dental appointment *giggles. Took the bus back home with Afiq as he's going nearby too.

Ah, dinner with a friend of mine. Eh, or should I say, old friend. Alright lah, I've known him for only close to 2 years. Haha. Had a hard time deciding where to go. Initially, he was getting ready to make his way here to meet me near my house. In the end, I ended up going to his place. Nonono. Wrong. His parents came home & we're not able to go up. Haha. We went to have dinner nearby. It was great catching up with him & all. Chatting, smoking, dining, laughing.. Haha. He's funny lah, I'll never get bored talking to him. We sat somewhere & after chatting for quite a while, took a cab back together. He asked for a goodbye hug. Like, so thick-skinned right. Haha! Okay lah, I already intended to, so.. Yup. Hopefully we can meet up more often. Thanks for your treat, friend.

2006-09-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I would like to blog about monday as I was too tired to blog yesterday night when I got home. So.. I was feeling rather down 'cause the thought of him really saddens me. Hello loveless, I'm willing to give that much. But will I get anything in return? Well, I don't know. Why do I want you so much? I can't fucking understand that myself. Oh whatever. Something kind of brightened up my day though. Something Kah Mun told me about the HOT guy. Heheh, it was nothing great. But I feel more relieved now. God damn it, I envy you girl. Same class as him.

Yesterday was tuesday. YA & I'm sure most of you know that I have to give tuition. I'm so sick of it. The boy fucking get on my nerves yesterday & I don't know what tempted me to have a talk with his parents. & yes, tuition has ended. It was all because I can't tolerate his shit anymore. Simple sums, he will only get it right after a few times. Obviously he's not concentrating no matter how many times I raised my voice. & you know I don't like raising my voice & all. Simple explanations, I'll have to repeat 5-8 times & he still has the cheek to say "Huh?". Fuck, I'm so glad it fucking ended. I got my pay, & I'm finally free from it lah. He isn't that bad, just lazy & not motivated. But I'm sure he will score in his upcoming exams. Sorry Ben! Can't let you take over. I don't even dare to ask. 'cause I feel so bad to end the tuition before his exams even started. Hahaha.

I'm so worried for Adrian. He's sick yesterday & I didn't get a chance to talk to him. Wondering if how he's feeling better now. Maybe we'll have dinner this friday at my workplace.

I was talking to him yesterday & was really happy when he said he's going out to study. He has always complained that I'm naggy, he don't want another mom & all. But the thought of you studying really made me day lah.

Guess what. I didn't go to school today. Pon ten queen. Hahaha. Today's like the fifth day of school & I've already started to skip school. Oh my god, Agnes! Nah, it isn't that bad. Lover skipped school on the second day! So, I ain't that bad. Hahaha. Lover lover. Lunch with you yesterday was great lah.

2006-09-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

Underoath

Haiyo, I just removed some pictures. Lover said I looked like a poser. What poser. No lah, I don't like posers okay. The picture was taken for fun because I was on my way back from tuition & the freaking bus took a long time to arrive. Ya, no poser no poser. Haha!

Bus ride home. I bought macs & was munching away. Fries, coke, burger.. It all reminds me of someone. I could remember distinctly what happened that very night. Oh, I can't believe we actually shared 'this so-called love'. Yeah & I will never forget the way you say the three words. At that point of time, this was what's going though my mind, "Oh, god damn it. I love this guy in front of me man. He made me feel like I'm the happiest person alive. && awwww, so blessed & loved". Right after that, the other someone came to my mind. Those small actions he made which made me wonder.. "Did my heart just skipped a few beats? Is my heart still beating?"

Fuck my laptop. I had a sudden urge to smash it just now. It has been giving me alot of problems recently & making me feel like buying a new one! Fuck you laptop.

&&& this is to you babe
Happy Birthday to my sweetest & amazing sister, Serene in advance. Though we have arguments every now & then, but just keep this in mind, like what daddy always say, we're blessed & destined to be sisters in this life. So, treasure as much as we can when we're together. I know I can a sucker at times, I'm selfish, I'm an asshole, &you feel like skinning me alive.. But no doubt, nothing can spolit this very special bond that we have. It's just fate, I guess. We have the same blood flowing through our body, we have similiar likings & dislikes. Please don't take anything bad or insulting things I said, to heart. Because I don't mean what I said, especially bad things. Love you girl.

With the most sincere thank you & warm love.(sending some love to you), Agnes.

2006-09-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

I can make a mess like nobody's business

Oh, I talked to Adrian yesterday night. Haha, it was great catching up with him & all. His friend called me to join them & just hang out somewhere, in the middle of the night. Like, 2am in the morning. I was like, "I worked just now & I'm really tired now. & whats more, my dad will kill me if I really went out." Haha. Say Adrian was too shy to ask me out. Ah well, I have nothing to say as we've only know each other for less than a week. Lol! But still, it was very nice of them.

Before that, I sacrificed 30-45 minutes of my sleep to help Lester with some research. Ya, thank god I found something very very useful otherwise it would really be a god damn waste of time.

Today, it's still work work work. Update later!

2006-09-24T01:30:00.000-07:00

Postal Service
Here are some pictures I took the past few days. Last day with colleagues & pictures of myself. Just realised that I've not been taking pictures for quite some time. Haha.

Oh hello! I'm back from work. Woooh, what a relief. I was actually asked to work till 3am! Thank god the crowd today was rather pathetic. Hence, I was able to leave on time. As usual, 11pm. Yay, I was god damn tired lah. I have nothing much to add about today.

No matter how occupied my mind is, with school, work & friends.. He just somehow appeared in my mind every now & then. Till now, I still don't understand why. Why we're only meant to be friends, &a little more than that. & this song came to my mind
.
.
.
Emery - Walls
Are you listening?
We write a thousand pages, they're torn and on the floor.
Headlights hammer the windows, we're locked behind these doors.
And we are never leaving, this place is part of us.
And all these scenes repeating are cold to the touch.

My hands seem to deceive me
When I'm nervous or when I'm healthy.
The scenery's all drawn.

They hang here from the walls dear,
Painting pictures, bleeding colors,
Blanket the windows.

Sometimes it gets so hard to breathe.
Your eyes can see right through me.

These fights with your arms left beside.
It's one thing and one more says goodnight.
You've got the map come get to me.
These knuckles break before they bleed.

Tear out these veins that own my heart.
This skin that wears your lasting marks.
I've built these walls come get to me, come get to me.

Is this your lesson, a slight discretion,
The lines that keep you, the lines that sweep you.
Lock the doors from the inside.

Your face is so contagious, it wears announcements,
It leaves me breathless, I won't forget this,I won't forget.

Sometimes it gets so hard to breathe.
Your eyes can see right through me.

Let the walls have their say.
Have their say.

There's no conversation, words without remorse.
And this television drowns the only source.
Wake from these dreams of you in my arms.
Go to the staircase where you hold my heart.
This place, these walls mean everything to me.

2006-09-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

New team yesterday. I got to know a few more people. One of which is Afiq who is a very easy to get along guy. & we even went for a smoking break together. Haha, it's amzing how we can click quite well on the second day of school. Lol. Anyway, my lesson ended early & I slacked in class for awhile before going to Ben's class to "pick him up", that's why he say. Haha, he asked me to pick him up more often to show his classmates that he's popular. What is this man, Benjamin, what is this. Lol, but I know he's just kidding 'cause I guess he'll be the one who'll wait for me outside his class. Ahaha, just kidding! I went off with Mel after meeting the rest for awhile. Tuition at night, so I have to go home, get ready, had dinner & off I go! It was damn tiring. I don't know why I was so tired yesterday. Oh ya, Terrence & I took the same bus on my way home. What a coincidence. He was going to work, by the way. Haha. It was the first time we talked so much ever since we're classmates the last semester. I mea, seriously. Haha. We don't really talk that much, whether it's in a group or just the both of us. So, it's rather surprising how we can talk that much & also, a more heart-to-heart talk during the bus journey. Wow. Haha.

Alright, got to go off! Working later on.

2006-09-21T22:41:00.000-07:00

Hidden in plain view
Oh, today's the first day of school for the 2nd semester. New class, new faces.. It's like a new start, everything is just weird. Haha, the atmosphere was so tense. & seeing how hardworking your new classmates are, actually pressurised me. Oh god! Hahaha. I miss lover, muffin, Ben, Ganesh, Mel, Terrence, Matt & the rest. But I guess I'll just have to get used to not seeing them in class. Damn, I want to cry now.

Oh anyway, met up with Chun Hwee for a smoking break during lunchtime. Ah, haven't seen him for a month, I think. Hahaha. He changed alot lah. I might probably meet him almost everyday for a smoking break unless I really quit. Haha, which, I will, soon. I've got to know a few of my classmates today. My team mates are really friendly people who are easy to get along. Haha. My new class isn't that bad. I can see that they're all very nice people. One thing that's bothering me is.. where are the hot guys?? HAHA! God damn it. But nevermind, I guess that's the way life is.

I went to meet my colleagues after late lunch with Mel, Ganesh, Ben, Muffin, Matt & Terrence. Hahaha, I really enjoy my time with my colleagues lah. We can talk about anything under the sun. Seriously. All of us may come from different backgrounds, have different interests, but we can click very well. Haha. Ice-cream with them, again. The long walk back was fun too. We're walking along this quiet & pretty dark path beside the main road & one of my colleague decided to piggy back me. I was like, "are you mad? you know how heavy I am?" He's like.. "can lah can lah". Then the rest want to challenge. Hahaha. We had a piggy back challenge among the six of us. Obviously, we're the last. That guy claimed that he can take it, but in the end, he said I'm too heavy. Haha. It was damn funny, trust me. I'm gonna miss them too. We've only known each other for a week or so. But I had alot of fun because they're damn hilarious & they always say& do stupid stuffs. Hope that we'll still keep in contact though. Why do all these fun have to come to an end, somehow? Colleagues, ex-classmates. It's seriously driving me mad. Love all of them like fuck.

&&& I've yet to upload the candid pictures I took during the bbq last week. Selina's mini birthday party. Haha. Will upload it to my flickr soon. & also, my the pictures I took with my colleagues. )))))):

2006-09-20T23:58:00.000-07:00

Plain White T's

Today's one of the best wednesday ever! Work, as usual. But I met up with a new friend of mine for lunch at Pizza Walker, Wisma. It was very nice & sweet of him to treat me to lunch. It's the first time we're out & he treated me. Damn, I feel so bad. But it was great knowing him & spending time with with him over lunch. Today was my last day working at the modelling agency. & I get to know really nice people. My colleagues are god damn funny & easy-going. We had ice-cream before we left. Took a group photo. Hahaha. Will upload the photos soon. I'll be meeting them again tomorrow 'cause I need to get my cigs from one of my colleagues. Yup. Last 2 packet, I swear man. I met Jeremy for dinner. We had dinner at Gelare cafe. We had a good time yeah? After that, we caught the movie, Pulse. Stupid show, I would say. I paid 7 bucks for it but I didn't really watch the show. I missed ALL the scary parts. But it was a good thing, at least I won't get freaked out. Haha

School tomorrow! I'm in W16L. Same block again.. Hopefully, my classmates are nice people lah. I'll miss my classmates. I love you guys!

2006-09-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

Cartel

It's pretty amazing that I'm able to stay awake now after working from 1130am in the morning till 1030pm at night. Wow, can't believe it. Anyway, today was rather packed, so, tiring tiring tiring. Oh && Ben, Chb & Junda came over to watch the football match. (:

Classmates are going to Sentosa tomorrow. Haha, sorry I have to work, so I can't join you guys. But, have fun yeah! Though I know that it's gonna be pretty boring without me. But still, enjoy!!! Hahaha.

Anyway, I'll be meeting Jeremy Fu for dinner this wednesday after work. Yeah, it's better to make some plans to meet up before school starts & both of us are like so busy with school & stuffs.

It has been more like a daily routine to view the pictures each time I'm on the computer. Can't you see that I really miss him that much. But I'm really trying to get over him once & for all. It has been, close to 10 months now. I really do hope I'll met someone when the semester starts. I hope that will help me get over him. It really is not worth it. But what to do. Agnes can't seem to.

2006-09-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

Eagles

I've not talked to him for, close to a week now. Damn, I miss him. Definitely. But some things are holding me back for the time being. Apart from that, I'm also tied down by work. I'm still asking myself that question.
.
.
.
I, I can't get enough of you
This means way too much
I will never
I can never
I won't ever
Stop
.
One last hit for you, two pills here for me
One too many times I've felt this way about you.
Here's the poison for your lungs, smoke it down 'til you throw up,
then I'll reach out to push
some sense right down your throat

Your poison's so played out,
and all the love from your heart beating,
has left me cold, has left me out.
But you can't break me down and all the love from your heart beating
has watched me drive out of this town

I've tried to make this life have meaning for myself,
but all you do is make life a living hell.
So just say no.
We'll find our way home.

So I searched and searched for the answers
These doors will lead us nowhere

Your poison's so played out, and all the love from your heart beating,
has left me cold, has left me out.
But you can't break me down and all the love from your heart beating
has watched me drive out of this town
(This poison, will you break you down)
♥

School will commence next thursday. I've yet to get any of my pay. I'll have to wait till next month. Ah, how can I survive the next few weeks. Haha. School re-open= new clothes, new accessories, new bags & everything! Selina(lover!) messaged me this morning & asked me not to smoke too much. Haha, don't worry lah. I won't. Quitting it soon. Guess it's better to be a social smoker. Yes Agnes, you can do it.

Anyway, work was boring at first, until those guys came. Haha. They're very very humourous lah. Bet they'll be damn busy tomorrow night as there are very important matches. Guess what. I'll be working from morning to evening. Alright, hope I'll be able to stay awake till evening. Hahah.

Goodnight people. Goodnight, love.

2006-09-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

Yay, work was great today because I got the most number of contacts for the whole of my life. HAHA! Though the weather was fucking screwed up & we had to stand from morning till night, but it was still good. My group of colleagues are very funny people. It was pouring very heavily when we're about to leave the company & so we slacked around the area. Yeah, & needless to say, smoking breaks lah. Fuck, I'm still trying. I saw the weighing scale & decided to weigh myself since I've not been doing so for quite some time. Guess what. 47.6KG. Wah, fucking hell. I didnt know I weigh that much lah, seriously. Hahaha. Oh anyway, I saw Eric on my way to work yesterday morning. He's getting more & more slimmer & fitter, & me? Damn, like what Benjamin used to say, growing horizontally, not vertically. Damn depressed now. Lol.

I cancelled tuition today 'cause I can't afford to leave early anymore. Work comes first. Since it's still pretty early when I knocked off from work, I went to look for Jason! Hahaha. Had a chat with him at his workplace & went for a smoking break outside too. The day couldn't have been better without you, friend. Wah, everybody's smoking. How to quit, you tell me.

I'll be working during in the evening on the weekends. Ah, boring.

Happy birthday Jeremy Fu! Haven't seen this friend for months now. Miss talking to him lah.

2006-09-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

Work was fine today! Haha, not that bad. I get to leave around 6 'cause I have class bbq later at night. Met up with Bn, Mel & daryl before that. h damn it, waited for like 1 hour. Wah, Agnes is trying so hard to be patient here but to bad she can't. Oh by the way, it's not really considered a class bbq. Most of my classmates didn't turn up & it's still the same old people I see there. The food was alright. We did the same old things. Cards, chat, eat, dare. Hahaha. Nothing much to add on.

Anyway, I'm quite puzzled with myself sometimes. I don't know why I'm doing this too. I know it's partly because of peer influence & also, temptations. Most of my friends do smoke & it's just too tempting. I know it's bad bad bad. I can't resist. I can't help but, bought another packet today. Hahaha. Damn it. I swear it's going to be the last last last packet. Yes. I've been thinking.. Seriously, no point in doing that. I'll disappoint my parents, especially. Anyway I've started not long ago. So, it's pretty easy for me to stop, I guess. Yup, okay. I swear I swear. Sorry. Got some feedbacks from good friends. That's why I'm blogging about this. (:

Oh. Happy Birthday Selina!!! Oh lover, you're such an awesome friend lah.
Love you.

2006-09-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

Saosin
Work was tiring, as usual. && it's bad. I'm earning very little each day. I mean, for weekdays. Fuck that alright, fuck that. Oh anyway, the results for semester1 is out! & my GPA's 3.1. Hey, not bad huh. Hahaha, I thought I'm going to screw it up, but thank god I didn't. Agnes you got to work harder for the next semester! Yesyesyes. Haha.

Class BBQ tomorrow!!! Hopefully most of my classmates will be there as I guess that'll be the last time we're gonna see each other. I mean, let's not talk about the people whom I normally hang out with, but those who I'm not so close to but we still chat every now & then. So, I guess there'll be lots of catching up & stuffs.

I miss all my friends. I haven't had the time to contact them since the start of my holidays.

I'm tired. That's all for now. Pictures with lovelies tomorrow!!!

2006-09-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of work at the modelling agency, after so many months. & yup, alot of new faces. My colleagues are nice people. Haha, nowadays, I get to know really easy-going & fun people from work. Eh, it's a pretty good thing. I mean, at least I won't feel that bored & work won't be that dreadful. &&Time passes faster too. But the surveyor job is really tough lah. One advantage! You get to really observe the crowd & their dressing.. Especially hot hot, mad hot guys. Hahaha. Guys whom girls will probably go crazy for. Oh my goodness. Lol!

Anyway, I forgot to add that my mum got me a new phone! Yay, mum you're great lah.

Oh, there'll be a class bbq this cming thursday! Hahaha. Miss you guys.

I've not been talking to him, since.. I'm raher puzzled with myself. Is it love or is it that I just want him? Seriously. I've been thinking of nothing else but this. But fuck this. I'm so so so so tired recently. Work starts early & end pretty late. I don't get enough rest & all. Just bear with it Agnes, just bear with it. One more week! School's starting! Should I be excited? New classmates!!! Haha. But damn sad that we'll all be going separate ways. Hopefully we won't.

2006-09-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

Senses fail - Calling All Cars

Hello! Anyway, I've just changed my phone number. If I happen to know you, & I've not let you know yet, please drop me an e-mail!

Work was exhausting! It was the first time I worked on the earlier shift & I'm totally worn out now. Slept rather late last night & I've got to drag myself out of bed this morning. Ooooh, this is seriously getting on my nerves lah. This is going to be the first & last time I working on the morning-evening shift. *drops head on table

Oh ya, I MUST blog about this bunch of heartless people. They had supper at Chomp Chomp last night & didn't ask me along. Thanks man, you guys are the best. You guys are great! Hahaha. I know, it's not your fault. 'cause Ganesh did ask me along for supper on saturday but didn't tell me the place. & since my workplace is at S-E-R-A-N-G-O-O-N G-A-R-D-E-N-S(just in case you don't know), I'll take me less than 5 minutes to get to Chomp Chomp. Haiya, but whatever it is.. I have nothing to say ah.

Weekday job will start on tuesday & as for friday.. Anything for you, Babe! Haha. All working schedule, dates or whatever, cancelled. Hahaha, you're much more important, lover. Ooooh, miss you!

I'll be doing a little shopping tomorrow. Heading to town! "Off day" for me. Hahaha.

2006-09-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

The Postal Service

A moment of rash, my dad calls it. I was browsing through the papers this morning as I got up pretty early, say, around 10.30am. I came across this article on a large number of teens getting tattooed & also a steady flow of youngsters wanting to get rid of them. Oh man, I think having tattoos is alright. & my dad was telling me about the removing of tattoos(lasers) & stuffs, & it sure hurts alot. I know he's indirectly telling me, "never get a tattoo & don't let me catch you with one! I won't care where you put the tattoo, I'll make sure you remove it". I was already planning to lah. Next month, baby. Hahaha. Anyway I'll be working my ass off for the next two weeks(Mondays-Saturdays). I'll be working at my previous workplace, modelling agency. It's tough, especially to work outdoors. But I want to make full use of my holidays as it's ending soon.

There'll be another class bbq next friday? Haha. Yay, great to see them again. Anyway, today's tuition is cancelled. Oooooh, what should I do in the evening? Hang out with my friend or work at the cafe? Hmm hmmmm.

2006-09-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

New found glory- It's not your fault

Woke up early in the afternoon. Just thought of going to Takashimaya. Haha, I don't know why too. Most probably because I would really want to catch up with Jason. From what I remembered, I called him on Monday & he told me he'll be working at Taka, but I forgot it was yesterday! Haha, ahhh nevermind. Miss you, friend! Oh damn. I waited for Serene to get home, get changed, make up & off we go. We went to Kinokuniya at first. We bought our notebooks. Oh, I've been searching high & low for a fabric book. & I finally got it! I have so many things/thoughts/memories to pen down.

When my msn personal message changes to " , do you know You're Amazing?" He said, I know I'm amazing. Hahaha. I was like, how thick-skinned can you get? Hahaha. He has been asking me, just who is it. It's You.

& he asked, Do you still like me?"
"Yeah."

Damn. History is repeating itself.

I caught the Results Show just now. Oh my god, I was so so so fucking scared that Jon's gonna be eliminated! I was like praying, praying. Please no please please. Hahaha. Thank god he's saved!

Every day is another face,
Every day is another fake across the street.
Every night is an alibi.
Every night is another lie in your eyes.

2006-09-06T21:45:00.000-07:00

Plain White T's new album - Every second counts(12 sept 2006)
I like the song Hate (I really don't like you). It's the video on the right. My current love - Plain White T's!

I've been out for the past few days. Come to think of it, I find it really tiring. So, I feel like staying home today. I've been working during weekends, giving tuition on weekdays. I'm only left with Monday, Wednesday & thursday for myself & friends. Ah, but I want to get another part time job. I intended to let one of my friend take over my tuition, but I think since it's just one more month before the kid's exam starts.. I reckon I should just get my job done. Sorry! Hahaha. I seriously need more cash. School's starting in another 2 weeks' time & I've yet to do my shopping!

Alright. I've been on the computer for the whole of today. Did facial, had alot of snacks for tea break.. Okay, I've practically done nothing lah. Staying home so I'll be able to catch SI later on. Jon Jon Jon! Hahaha. Lover likes him too. ;p

(UPDATED POST)
Oh my god, I can't believe it's the 2nd or 3rd time today that I'm blogging again! Okay anyway, SI was good. Jon was hot, everything was great. Haha.

Oh, I was blog-hopping & I chanced upon a very bimbotic blog entry by Selina, my lover. HAHAHA! Ooops, sorry for saying that you're bimbotic. But it really is. See this:
"Sex is good but its not critical in a relationship. Its fine to be in a relationship with no sex. " This is the title. & she strongly disagree with this statement. It's funny how she argue & insist that SEX is o-kay. HAHAHAHA! Funny, funny. But somehow, I agree with her. Totally. Love you, girl. Hahahahaha. I can't stop laughing.

Yeah, we're talking about a class, or rather, group outing next week. Yay, it has been a week since I last saw the guys, ¬ forgetting, my muffin. Yeah? Hmmmm.

I'm starting to hate my laptop. 'cause it has been giving me some problems recently. Internet problems, mostly. I can't access to some websites & all. What's more important, till now, I still can't fucking access to Purevolume.com. I'm seriously gonna cry. But I did alot of music updating just now using the com at home. Wooooh. Feeling so great with new & amazing music blasting on my laptop now. Especially New Found Glory, Alexisonfire, Plain White T's, The Sill Canvas! Oh my god.

2006-09-06T00:50:00.000-07:00

Alexisonfire

Oh, Time really flies. Ah damn, sounds so cliche. But whatever. My holidays' ending in two weeks' time. God, it's kind of scary whenever I think of the new semester, new class, making new friends & not seeing any of my classmates in class. Damn, I think I'm gonna cry. Haha! Daryl must be thinking.. "Eh, Aggie, you're such a bimbo la". I wonder why they always call me that. I have brains man! Okay, back to the topic. I can't imagine life in school without my classmates. Not seeing them in class, during breakfast & lunch breaks, after school.. Well, I guess that's just life. Yes, we don't always get what we want in life. We just go to face it & look on the positive side. Why feel sad about it & all when you're suppose to be enjoying every second of your life! Hahaha. Yes.

Anyway, I can't do it. I did like, 38 sit ups & I'm dying. Haha, persevere Agnes persevere!

Hey there, ______
Do you know you're amazing?

Alexisonfire - Drunks, Lovers, Sinners, & Saints
This is from our hearts.
Sincerity over simple chords.
We made some mistakes
We made some mistakes
But it's a long time coming when you're giving it everything.

This is from our hearts
And it's been right from the start
There's fire in my guts you just can't put out
Alright!
This is from our hearts (From our hearts)
And there is always going to be a part
Of this crowd who don't understand

Oh, and I feel the same
I won't ever change
Not a jaded hair upon my head

Are you pretending? (That you care)
Are you even listening?
Are you pretending? (That you understand)
Are you even?

Suits to the left
Squares to the right
Cause my heart - my heart is full
And we ride to fight.

We ride to fight.

Are you pretending? (That you care
)Are you even listening?
Are you pretending? (That you understand)
Are you even listening?
Are you pretending?
Are you, are you?
Are you even listening?

Are you pretending that your heart's in the right place?

Are you pretending?
Are you even listening?
Are you pretending?
Are you even?

So don't waste my time
Spending your life jumping from sinking ship to sinking ship
Because I think I'd rather drown
I know I'd rather drown

Oh, and I feel the same
I won't ever change
Not a jaded hair upon my head.

2006-09-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

Thursday

Oh Jesus Christ. Shouldn't my dad be out of town by now?? My holidays end on the 20th sept. & I have only 2 weeks left. Ohhhh, I really want to club so badly that I even thought of sneaking out in the middle of the night to club. Hahaha! Please dad, just go on a vacation or whatever. Just be out of town on days that great parties are held! MoS, Tertiary Fling party. I've got a pair of free tickets! Selina told me there's one at Club Momo too, College Party. Both on the 7th sept! Wah, I bet both will be hell fun.

I went to the secondary school dance dinner gathering yesterday. It was ooooo-kay, I would say. We had pizzas. Oh ya, it was indeed a memorable get together for me & Ishwinder. I mean, we've not seen each other for months. Many many months. So, it was great seeing her after such a long time & knowing she's doing fine & all. Anyway, went to Raf's place. Chat, drank a little. I didn't want to go home so early. Nothing much to do at home.

I'll be getting my tuition pay today. Haha, that's like.. FINALLY. I need to work on my tummy. Haha, have been eating alot & not doing any exercise for months now. Oh my god. It's scary how your weight increases whenever you step on the bathroom scale. 50 sit-ups a day, Agnes. Hahaha.

2006-09-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

Paramore

My sister, mom &I went to compass point for lunch. Singapore idols are there. So after lunch, my sister & I just joined the crowd & have a glimpse of them. Know what, we're able to squeeze through the side, just behind the barrier. They were leaving at that time. I love Jonathan la, oh my god. Guess what happened. Jon walked past me, then he stopped & smiled at me. Oh my god, that manly &killer smile. He said "bye". Then I don't know why I stretched my hands out, so he has a little hesistating look 'cause he should be walking towards the exit by now. Haha! But but but, He shook my hands! Wah, I'm not exaggerating. But it's true. Ahh, you guys must be thinking.. "Eh, come on. That Singapore Idol contest is stupid" But, wait. We're talking about people who have singing talents. Haha, he can sing. He has the image, he has the looks. Awwwwww yay. I got a little attention from him. He's hot la.

Anyway, I just came back from work. That cafe.bar is a fun place to work at. Seriously. Haven't felt so relaxed while working. The staff there are helpful & easy to get along, customers are about our age. Yeah, very fun place indeed. Will be working tomorrow from 5-11. So if you're free, do drop by. Haha! Oh ya, I have this contemporary dance dinner gathering this coming monday. Was quite surprised when I received the message. Well, of course I'll be going. Since my dance instructor wanted to meet us, I don't see why we should give this gathering a miss. Guess there'll be some catching up with old friends & stuffs.

2006-09-01T23:58:00.000-07:00

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- Face Down

Lunch at Compass point, then Starbucks. Oh ya, I saw Terrence at his workplace! Haha. Oh, there's no hot guy at Starbucks this evening. Eeeee, bore the shit out of me. Anyway, off I went for tuition, no matter how much I dislike it. The kid was super lazy today & refuse to do to what I ask him to. Roarrrr, I did raise my voice a little but I try to tolerate his shit as I don't want to scare him. Haha. Oh guess what! He gave me a Teachers' Day gift. Oh my god, trust me. I was so touched. I know, you guys must be wondering.. Agnes gets happy over the slightest thing! But yeah, I really am. That's why I don't go for big big surprises. The best gift/surprise is to make me feel appreciated & touched! Yay. No need for expensive gifts or whatsoever. But he got me a sweet gift la. Didn't know tutors get such treatment. Ahaha!

Oh anyway, I'll be working tomorrow. As they'll be providing me with the top.. Hopefully! it's not as big as the shirt from Balcony. It makes me look damn small. Hahaha. I wanted to meet Jason today. Aww, too bad he has some soccer training. Well, I really do hope to see him soon. He said he'll try to drop by my workplace. Soon okay?? Haha.

Happy Birthday Peter! (1st sept)

&also to my friend, Ishwinder. Although we've not been contacting each other for months now, but I'll not forget your birthday. Haha. Happy Birthday, love! (2nd sept)

2006-08-31T22:07:00.000-07:00

Ooo my goodness, he's damn hot. HAHA.

Matchbook Romance
Today was fuck boring. I stayed home the whole damn day. Tuition tomorrow again. Ah, I'm lazy to make my way there & back home.

I'm currently doig some work. Eh, not schoolwork. Oh come on, we don't have any assignments or projects during our vacation for RP! Yay. Haha, anyway the work is for the kid I'm tutoring. I guess it's time I do some work & teach him more in depth. Hahaha! Browsing & picking out useful model compostions & introductory sentences. Photocopying my sister's primary 2 exam papers for him. Oh, I didn't know I'll be that hardworking. Hahaha. What to do. My one & only student. Anyway, work will start on saturday for me! Gardens. I hope to work more during this holiday 'cause I have to set aside some money for some things. New handphone, clothes, bags, tattoo. Yeah, work Agnes, work work work.

A wraith with an angel's body
A demon with a smile of gold
You soulsucker
I won't become like you
A killer with the perfect weapons, crystal eyes, and a heart of coal
You soulsucker
I won't lose myself in you
.
.
.
.
It's back again
The feelings sucking me dry
You have left a trail of broken hearts and misspent hopes
Sucking them dry

2006-08-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm back from the "class" chalet&bbq. Haha! Wondering why's the class with " ". It's because there were like only less than 10 of us over there. But it was still great seeing them there. We had a fun time. The food was okay, I would say. We watched television, play cards, bbq, chat.. Before some of us left, we went to get liquor. It's rather strange that I don't feel a single kick today. Maybe it's not strong enough, or maybe I've been drinking quite often lately. But whatever it is, I'm still a lousy drinker.

Oh damn it, oh damn it. I'm fucking broke now. Seriously. Haven't been so broke in my life. So, that's why we have vacation. It's for me to work my fucking ass off man. Tuition, work, tuition, work. That's all. & oh, anyway, he has been stuck in my mind.

I should have..

& if I did, we would have.. But fuck it, please tell me there's still a second time.

Oh ya, Happy 17th Birthday Lester!!!
You're a cool friend.

2006-08-29T23:36:00.000-07:00

Today was a happy happy day & I'm feeling great now. Firstly, I met up with Jerm at starbucks to pass him his present. Thanks for the coffee treat! We chatted for like, an hour plus. He has to meet one of his friends & I have some stupid interview at Far East. So, we left. So, byeeeee+abit of friendly hug. Oh, I don't know when's the next time we'll meet again. But it was great seeing him. Still looking as good&hot as ever. I would like to thank Peter for his help too! Thank you! Anyway, the interview was cock. Seriously. It was a fucking waste of time as it only lasted for less than 5 minutes. We had no plans after that, so we just merely walked around. I met one of my old friend on the train. So, since all of us have got no plans, we met up, drank, chat.. I'm feeling a little tired now. Haha, lousy Agnes, you're very lousy. Can't hold your liquor well. But thank god, I'm not feeling horrible & all.

I didn't go for tuition! Oh fuck you Agnes. You're so irresponsible. But, I don't care la. I'll start working on saturday, at the cafe at serangoon gardens. Hopefully, it'll be a nice place to work at.

Oh ya! Class BBQ tomorrow! Might be meeting Selina lover before that. We'll all have a fun time la. Miss all of you guys.

Happy 17th Birthday Jeremy!
xoxo

2006-08-28T21:20:00.000-07:00

October Fall

Today was fun la. I went to Gardens for an interview with two of my friends & went off to town after that. Oh ya, before that, let's talk about something shocking which happened when I was on the bus to Gardens. Oh my god, oh my goodness. I saw someone very familiar at the bus stop & he boarded the bus I was in. I caught a glimpse of him & OH! Jeremy. Hahaha! I was so shocked that I forgot to sit inside & offer him a seat beside me. We've only exchanged a few lines 'cause Gardens was just two to three stops away. Feeling so weird& awkward. Hahahaha. But still, oh my god, it's so unexpected. Remember I planned to drop by his place tomorrow for his birthday? Yeah. & I think he looks damn good. Anyway, its not a surprise anymore. Haha, I've already told him I'll be going. I mean, its not very nice to pop out in front of him & I'm also not sure whether his parents would mind. Luckily I asked him about it.

I went to town for one purpose. Haha, just to get his FSAS shirt from 2001. Agnes seriously need a job now. Haha, otherwise she'll be damn broke. So, for tomorrow.. Dropping by his place & tuition!!! Haha. Anyway, I won't be staying over at my class chalet on wednesday. I'll only be going for the bbq guys. Hehe.

Oh, &Matt's damn funny. He made fun of my msn nickname.
Agnes' msn nickname: Can you see the sky turn red? As morning's light breaks over me, know tonight we'll make our bed at the bottom of the sea. (Thrice, Red Sky)

Matt's: Can you see my face turn blue? As darkness dawns over me, know morning we'll make love on the newpapers.

HAHAHAHA! What the fuck. He's damn funny la.

2006-08-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

Boys night out
Haven't been blogging for the past few days. Oh, I miss my classmates. I would rather go to school! Seriously. I miss all of you guys!!! Am so fucking going to hug them the next time we meet up. Haha, anyway my class will be having a chalet this coming week. Hopefully I'll be able to convince my mom to let me spend the night over.

Anyway, I'm going to dye my hair tomorrow! Haha. To.. Maroon red. It was like a last minute decision 'cause I was so so sick of my current hair colour. Hehehe. Hope it'll turn out well & not as screwed up as the previous time. Guess what. I went to HMV & some bar.restaurant at CHIJMES on friday for the job interview. It was a fucking waste of money alright. 'cause in the end, none called me. Ah, fuck. Haha, it's okay. I'll be getting my tuition pay this coming friday & will be job-hunting tomorrow again. Damn, Agnes is always job-hunting & she'll start shopping instead. Hahah, I'm controlling.

Oh, my sister & I went to Bugis today. We went to the National Library first. It was big & has a WIDE variety of books. ++ it has a good study environment! We shopped around at Bugis Junction & Bugis Street. I bought a necklace from Diva & a top from Bugis Street. Hey, Diva has really great accessories & are at very very cheap prices! Oh my god, I'm going to grab more of those soon. Now, I'm starting not to really trust online sellers that much already. The gold heart locket necklace I bought is of very low quality. I mean the necklace. Fuck, it was a total waste of money. But, some are still worth considering.

Damn, tuesday. Hmm, I've decided to surprise him by dropping by his place. But, till now, I still have no idea how am I going to get there without knowing his address. Haha. Urgent urgent! So, I'm asking my jerk friend for help. Thanks friend!

2006-08-24T23:15:00.000-07:00

Thursday
Oh well, we went to pasir ris beach today. Haha. Nalini, Mel, Benjamin, Matt, Daryl, Ganesh & I. We had a small picnic too. Ooooh, the food tastes great but too bad I'm too full to eat. They started to get really bored playing with the sand & at the sea. They threw sand at me & they not only threw, they poured sand into my top & my pants. Oh my gooness. Hahaha. I had a hard time getting it out & was feeling alittle annoyed because I hate being dirty & all. They began pouring sand into each other pants. Hahaha. Damn funny. First, Mel threw Nalini into the sea & I was second, by Matt. The taste of sea water, seaweed on your arms, stinky smell&feeling. Oh, I fucking hate that. Haha. After that, the guys went off to play soccer with a couple of guys. Nalini & I sat on the bench, chatted, laughed, boo-ed when the other team scored a goal. Lol! At last, we went off to clean up & they had a shower. Matt & Daryl were like hitting my arms & it fucking hurts so much. I turned to Daryl & said, "I'm so going to kick you if you do that again". So, the guys pulled & held him in a way that makes it easier for me to kick him. Oooooh, I kicked right at the centre. I bet it hurts la. 'cause my foot hurts too. Haha, I'm so sorry.

We intended to have dinner at Fisherman Village but they decided to check out this Red House or whatever you call it. Haha, Nalini & I were of course not interested. So, we spend quite some time hesistating & thinking about the way to FV. I was quite annoyed by the sand in my pants &top+ seawater, so I went off straightwaway. Yes, without having dinner. & I'm home now, waiting for my dear daddy to get my dinner for me. I'm so fucking hungry la.

Fuck, everyone's going clubbing. Dad, go overseas please. I need to club very badly. Haha. Anyway, the pictures & yesterday's blog entry is at the next post. Check them out! Haha.

2006-08-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

The Accident Experiment - Sick love letter
Oh, & yesterday was the last day of the semester. &When you're walking around the school, you could see people with really weird dressing too. Haha, thank god my class didn't come up with the idea of dressing really like idiots! Lol, ooops. No offence. It was computing lesson & as usual, we hate VB. That was why only a handful out of the rest of us that were in school yesterday, actually did the work. During the 2nd breakout, we went somewhere to drink. Haha, we had so much fun. Let's see. There were Selina, Matt, Mel, Nalini, Kah Mun, Ganesh, Naga, Daryl,Ismail &I. Wow, they're really alcoholics, I tell you. We ordered like 13 bottles of beer. They drank alot but I decided not to get myself wasted again. So, I controlled.. &drank one one glass. Haha! Took a few puffs of cig & I blew me away, like totally. Wow, the feeling's like, hmm fucking good la! Haha, but no. Agnes is not going to smoke. A few puffs wouldn't kill. Silly good friend of mine, Matthew, challenged Ganesh to eat the tobacco. Oh, & he felt fucking horrible after that. &it made us really worried about him la. Friend, why are you so silly! Haha. Back in class, we watched videos that accumulates all the pictures & stupid videos we took during class & outings. The music was, *awwwwwwww. I cried like a stupid fuck kid. Haha. We took quite a number of pictures. Most were really ridiculous ones. The saddest part was when Selina, Kah Mun & I were about to leave. They opened the door, we started hugging alsmost everyone in the class, & began crying again. Haha! Oh god oh god, it was really sad. I love that class la.

My first impression of that class wasn't very good. 'cause the moment I stepped into the class, I see some people whom I thought were NERDS! But, it doesn't turned out this way. Haha. I see hope when I saw Matt & Benjamin. Seriously. But overall, they're all awesome people. All of them are special in their own ways. I'll miss Matt & his stupid acts that I'll never get sick of even if he does that a hundred times(I'll still laugh like a dumbfuck)& jokes. Selina & her frequent moaning& sexual desires.(Sorry babe) Nalini & her slow "fuck----you". Benjamin & his vulgarities. Melvin being formal& friendly, which people made up something of him being a hypocrite. Ganesh & his lame&ridiculous actions. Kah Mun & her getting turned on(No offence, just a joke about her). &alot alot more. But I'm too tired to continue.

Anyway, due to the requests of my friends, I've made another friendster account. So, if you happen to know me, please add me at friendster his.latenightcall@hotmail.com! Thanks, love.

&check out the pictures, lovelies.

Oh, Agnes. Don't cry! Haha.

Oh, I requested for this picture with the guys. A very funny bunch of people.
Comment: Oh, what can I say. Dominance baby.

Oh my god, I just realised I look really scary in this picture. Anyway thats Benjamin.
Comment: He's actually quite hot la. I mean, comparing to the guys in my class. (Haha, laughing my ass off)

Goodness, Ganesh. I don't know why he put on that top & what's with the pose man.
Comment: Oh damn stupid. Haha

Ismail. He was sleeping, & we decided to take some photos with him sleeping. I was wearing a skirt, so I can't lie. Otherwise, I would have,

Daryl. Hahahahahaha! Copy my god damn pose.
Comment: The first nerd I saw on the first day of school. I was like, oh my god I hate this class. But he doesn't turned out to be that bad. Sorry, no offence. That's just first impression

Melvin. Hmmm, looks a little retarded in this picture. (Giggles) Sorry friend, no offence
Comment: I think I was only closer to him on the second half of the semester. He's a very nice& formal guy. That's why people cal him the "hypocrite" & was always targetted for any stupid acts.

Terrence! Haha, "Mr Nice Guy"
Comment: He's a really nice guy, I would say. Very gentlemanly& approachable. Serious when he has to be & goes all the way when playing.

Selina. Oh, lover oh.
Comment: "The reason I look forward to school & outings" I love you babe. We can talk about anything under the sun & she's definitely someone you can have heart-to-heart talk to. Oh, she makes me feel so loved. Haha.

Kah Mun! Very nice, cheerful & bubbly.

2006-08-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

Bon Jovi
Oh, today was the most awesome day in my past few weeks in RP. I mean, I didn't expect my class to bond so well together. It's funny how we have misunderstandings every now & then, but in the end, we're still able to solve it & get along well with each other. & it's sad that we've to split up when we've started to get used to seeing some of our classmates more than five days a week. Also, how we can talk about & do the silliest things. Awww, the sincere & from-the-bottom-of-my-heart comments made from my classmates to the rest are so so so touching that I almost teared. Haha. & my facilitator commented about me, "Wants to achieve alot, & is trying alot". Haha, I really am. Just that, I prefer to keep some things to myself. *shhhhhh

I have quite a number of things lined up for tomorrow. Firstly, my selection interview, tuition, &.. I really have no fucking idea whether I'll see him nearby after that. I've been having mixed feelings about that. I'm very very confused now. Heartless&evil me just felt like forgetting about him & everything but the other soft-hearted side of me seems to still be.. But nonono, Agnes. Come on! You know that he has always been using you. Yeah, not worth it, not worth it.

Oh, Agnes miss clubbing, dancing & the dancefoor! Haha. But whatever, I'll try to bear with the wildness & temptations for the time being 'cause there's a more important issue I should address to now. Someone really special to me. One good friend that I may not be so damn close to, but still considered a close friend. One trueful, honest & straightforward friend who doesn't hide any negative comments & just tell me his thoughts straightaway. So, I hope to give him this special surprise by appearing at his house on his birthday. Yes, that's going to be the very first time I'm giving someone a surprise on his/her birthday. Haha, we've not met for a mere 10 months but we've always been contacting each other. I feel that, calling him to even say "fuck you" is something I'm very used to. Although I feel that it's fucking lame, but he'll just laugh it off. Oh, I love you friend. Yes, indeed I've once Loved him before. But it's in the past. Every now & then, he still lingers in my mind.

2006-08-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

Vedera(edited)

Hey, anyway Matthew sent me all the songs from Keane's latest album, Under the iron sea. Yay, I love you as much as I love Keane. Ahaha! Thanks alot. Oh, & I'm not able to access Purevolume.com since wednesday and I'm so so so upset! I want to cry now. Haha, I used to check out my usual &favourite bands, updates & listen to songs in my music player. But now I can't. Oh my god, what happened. Fuck, I hate this.

By the way, I had a great time with Rafael at Serangon gardens yesterday. We had dinner at cafe cartel &hang out at coffeebean after that. It's amazing how we can sit and talk to each other about practically anything for about two hours. Thanks for the drink! &that's when I received his message. (*sarcastic laugh) Just what am I to you? I suppose I'm just a tool right? I come to your mind only when you desperately need help or when you're in need of company. I admit I'm foolish to play along with you all this while. But now, I've come to my senses, seriously.
(I'm way too tired for this)

&shit shit shit, I really need a job very desperately. I can't just depend on my tuition pay for this one month holiday. &now, I'm currently working on what I should say for the selection interview this coming tuesday. Hmmmmm. I must make it! Haha. Can some kind soul please get me tickets for the musical, The Forbidden City!!! Haha, or maybe, I should ask my mom about it. Lol.

I was rather shocked when I received a message from JeremyFu. Haha, I know it's weird to have his surname behind. 'cause I need to differentiate between the two Jeremys that I know &are my good friends. Hmmm, he was like.. "Hey, are you clubbing?" Haha, so random. &then after exchanging a few more lines, I fell asleep. Was only able to reply him this morning. All the "How have you been?", "We'll meet up real soon okay?" etc. Haha, yup. We will, dear friend. &I told him, "yes, &our next meet up will be to club okay!". YAY! Hahaha. Wah, he was at Zouk yesterday.

Anyway, my plans for tomorrow. Jason. Haha. It has been too long &I think I ought to drop by his workplace &have lunch with him since he misses me so much. He's like.. "I like surprises". Blah blah. Haha. I shall, prove him wrong. 'cause he said that I always say I'll see & I may drop by but in the end, I didn't. So, I'll go tomorrow. Haha, haiya, anything for my ever-so-sweet friend.

2006-08-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

Plain White T's - Take Me Away

I can't. I can't do it. Don't brood over it.
Mistakes. Is that all I can say?

A G N E S
.
.
.
.
.

Wake up, will you?

Haha. I looked troubled after school today. &one of my classmates can actually come up &tell me, "eh, don't act so stressed la". Like what the fuck. Seriously speaking, who wouldn't want to look cheerful? Who wouldn't want to have a mind without worries & so many WHYs?? Tell me. Fuck. I was still fine yesterday. Thinking I'm all okay. Thinking it'll be easy to get over with. Thinking it's time to divert my attention to other more important issues. Thinking, thinking, thinking.. Yes eventually, they're all still thoughts. I'll never be able to break free from this agony. Yearning for something, or rather, someone, is really tough.

Okay, so today was the last lesson of cognitive. Oh boring boring boring. Nothing interesting to add for today except that I saw this HOT&cute&Jason-look-alike guy at the canteen. Like, Ahhhhhh!(starts screaming) Hey, no no no. I'm not boy-crazy for goodness sake. It's really rare to see such hot stuff in my school. Haha. Oh, Jason-look-alike. Haha, that guy does resemble my good friend, Jason. Anyway, before that, I was having a casual&funny&sweet conversation with my dear friend Jason. Hey, so that explains why I think that guy downstairs resembles him. I guess I miss my dear friend too much. Haha. Short talks with him always lighten up my mood for just that short period of time. So, such talks are much needed. Lol. Oh my god, I hope he's in Year One and in the same class as me man. I'm praying hard that my new class for the next semester will be so much better than my current class. When I say better, I don't mean that my current class is bad. They are a bunch of awesome people, they do "awesome" things &are damn random. Bundle of joy. That's what one of my classmate calls me. Haha! I mean, it's really hard to leave my classmates as we've bonded so well together. And, since it's a must that we have to change classes, of course I'll hope to have a much better one than this. God, going miss those people. Please God, just one or a couple of MAD HOT guys in my next class &awesome awesome people. In the first place, why must we even change classes? Fuck, I hate this.

2006-08-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

A Static Age

A mere four months. Oh it's amazing how I'm able to tolerate the snatched hours & your nonsense for four months. Haha. I've learnt to become a stronger person now. &I'm pretty glad I no longer feel that way for you now. It's a good thing that I don't, because right till the end, I'm still the only one who has been giving in and wasting my time. Yes, I really appreciate your "time", heart-melting messages&words that you said & your "love". &for the last time, I won't deny that I've really loved you this much(the never ending path that stretches to how-the-hell-would-I-know-where).

Anyway, tuition yesterday was good. Haha, and finally.. I managed to know what's his name. Eh, Agnes you're such a loser. One thing for sure, he's getting more used to me now & I think he's getting cuter. Lol. Oh, I was rather shocked that Mel actually waited for me. So, I had someone's company from the journey back to the itnerchange and while waiting for the god damn bus. Haha, thank you.

&&&know what? I didn't go to school again. Haha. I was too tired when I got home from tuition yesterday. But fuck, my predicted module grades are shit okay. I started off quite well, 4Bs and 1B+. And now? C for science, 2C+(Cognitive & Maths) 1B+ for science & 1B for enterprise. Awww, I feel like crying now. Haha. But yesterday was the last day of our UTs. And so that means, end of 1st semester tests for all of us!!! Other polys will still be struggling during their study period, whereas we'ew already preparing for our holiday break. Haha!

I'm waiting for Serene to get home so we could leave for the hospital to visit our aunt. Yes, and to visit our baby cousin! Haha, how sweet.

Oh ya. I'm very very sorry Jerm. Hah, I didn't mean to play a prank on you. Well, it's just a small joke. And, I didn't expect you to get so annoyed. I'm really sorry. Haha, I've been apologising to him for god-knows-how-many-times. Luckily, he wasnt angry, just annoyed. Said that he won't belivev me in the future. Uh oh. Lol. How could you! Haha. You're one friend that mean alot to me alright.

2006-08-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

Armor for sleep

How nice to still be at home at this hour of the day on a Monday morning. Watching the television, switching from channels to channels, having this piping hot Minestrone soup and checking my mails. Ah, how I wish the holidays can start like.. NOW! Well, I don't intend to skip school today. It was all because I overslept and I reckon I'll reach school really late. That was why I rather get a X than a grade I don't deserve, for today.

Not sure whether I'll be going out later. BORING! My dad will be back tomorrow. Haha

2006-08-13T21:09:00.000-07:00

The Elliot Project(edited)
I didn't manage to club yesterday although I was dying to. Haha, too bad. Initially, I was going to meet Jerm. But he's suffering from some major hangover & was lazy to make his way out. Damn. He's always like that. Haha.

Anyway, I had supper with about 8 of my classmates. We wanted to sit somewhere, so they suggested the park. It was fucking pitch dark over there & it freaked me out. Like, totally. Haha. The guys started talking about those stuffs & I could feel my heart beating 5 times faster. And I would like to thank one of my classmate for sending me till my doorstep.

I need to club la.

Oh &&&, I had my haircut yesterday & my bangs make me look freaking weird now. Haha, I think I look 3 years younger. Well, is that a good or bad thing? Damn, grow Bangs brow. Haha.

2006-08-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

Oh lover, oh sweetheart I miss you . . .

You're over it, over me

Present just physically

Last words from the dying scene

You're over me

The old days all went bad

Rotted, wilted black

Before you'd have a chance to call

I'll be on the next train home

Add it to the endless list of all the things we'll never ever know

Oh, Keane oh Keane! Haha, click4

2006-08-12T13:51:00.000-07:00

Story of the year

I need to listen to Keane, Keane, Keane!!! Haha. They're just too amazing.

Communications lesson ended early again yesterday. Nalini, Matt, Mel and I went to Suntec City. Haha. It was quite boring actually. We had dinner there and Mel accompanied me for tuition again. Lol, THANKS! I really really appreciate it.

A few of my classmates and I planned to go clubbing tonight. So, please. I hope that the security would not be too tight over at DXO, Butter factory or Momo. What if we're not meeting? Hmmm, I'll definitely have some back up plans. Hehehe.

Travis Barker files for divorce from Shanna?? Oh my god, WHY? I used to think they're one of the sweetest celebrity couple while watching "Meet the Barkers". Awwww.

They're fucking awesome. So if you love them, vote for them!

2006-08-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

Jupiter Sunrise

Oh, fuck guess what. My dad's going overseas tomorrow AGAIN. Hell, I love you dad. Haha. Okay, I'm going to to make today's entry short and simple 'cause I got to rush off to help pack his luggage. He's always so lazy la. Hopefully, I can club, drink, dance, hook up, socialise & hangout with my friends. Woooooh. Mom, please stay out for at least a night or two. Haha. "I'll be out of town from tomorrow to next tuesday." Wow, that's fast man. Informed us today, off hegoes tomorrow. Lol. Fuck, I'm so excited. Haha

Overall, today was alright except that I was very fucked up with some issues that really spoilt my mood. Seriously. Some people just don't know when to be serious. But it's okay, I don't want this to affect my mood now. He thinks I take things too seriously. This is serious okay, oh come on. & I was on the verge of breaking down at that moment too. Fuck, luckily I didn't. Otherwise I would have shown people how weak I was. Haha, but whatever it is, I seriously hope he'll stop his nonsense 'cause I don't find this entertaining and funny at all. He's just a friend after all, just that sometimes he doesn't know his limits, that's all. & I guess I'm not as pissed as just now.

Holiday LIST baby!
1.Catch Forbidden City!!!
2.Tattoo
3.Give tuition and work part time at.. I-have-no-idea-where
4.Hang out with my classmates and friends
5.More online shopping
6.Gym to tone up! (Haha)
7.Learn how to play Tennis and Squash
8.Get a Haircut, maybe
9.New clothes(New dress code)
10.I want to see you.
11.A newer and better Image 'cause some people "claimed" that I'm weird(dressing,character etc..)
12.Mentally prepared for new classmates
13.SHOPPING
14.Busy with ______ if I happened to be selected. I really don't mind. Haha
15.Listen to Keane everyday!
16.Renew my wardrobe. Hahaha
17.Wake up.Eat.DramaSerials/DVDs.Sleep.
.
.
.
.
.

& lots lots more. Haha, might have to think about it. But anyway I'll only be having a one month holiday. I don't think I have so much time. Haha. But one thing I really really want to do is, to meet up with him some time soon. Ah, fuck you Agnes. He doesn't even bother, I guess.

Oh anyway, I just received the mail with my DKNY top in it. Thanks Jo!

2006-08-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

Matchbook Romance

Yesterday was exhausting! Haha. I would say Maths UT was hmm.. alright. & we left during the first breakout. Lol, well just take it that we had enough of science. Spent quite some time thinking about where we should go & stuff. In the end, we decided have lunch & go to Matt's place. Nothing much we can do there except for chatting, play our laptops, lie around & even came up with this stupid idea o playing truth or dare again. Haha, but it was much more boring than the previous time we played because there were lesser people. They always like daring me to do something.. which is different from all of them. Damn.

I decided to give tuition a miss because they wanted to catch the fireworks over at esplanade. Haha! Oh BY THE WAY, I hurt my foot and a small part of my ankle. Haha, all his fault. AHHHHHH. Fucking hell. It hurts alot okay, seriously. It's a little swollen now and I think I've hurt the veins connecting from my ankle to my foot. Fuck, I wanted to go to the gym today. But, I can't now! Okay anyway, the rest of them went back home and I stayed at Matt's house because my journey back home is way too far. I thought we'll be late, but NO, we're the first to reach. The moment we made our way out from Raffles City, the fireworks started. And to catch a better view, we even ran to Esplanade, but the fireworks only lasted for awhile. God, it was damn packed I tell you. Matt said it's like Chinatown during Chinese New Year. We sat around the area near the river. Trust me, I was very very tired by then. So, by the time they came to meet us, I feel like going home already. Haha. Mel, thanks for walking me to the Mrt station.

I did some online shopping the past few days. And I'm waiting for a few tops to be mailed to me, latest by friday. Yay! Hahaha. Oh, & I don't know what caused me to message him yesterday. I don't know what he's so busy with 'cause he hasn't reply me since then. Agnes, Agnes.

2006-08-07T22:21:00.000-07:00

The Juliana Theory

Popping Champagne grapes, doing my Reflection Journal, online shopping, replying e-mails, catching up with my friends. See, I'm always that busy almost every night. Haha. Oh and Jerm's real cute la. He talks to me the same way my classmates make fun of my nick and personal message. Replies to my "Oh loveless, how have you been?" "I've been fine" And I said, "Haha, no. You're not loveless, you're "lover"". He makes my day at times. Causes me to smile, giggle, burst out laughing stupidly while staring at the computer screen. Once a lover lah. As for now, as for the time being, he's not. Lol.

Was actually very engrossed with this autobiography but I was so sleepy that I totally forget about my "image" & fell asleep. Swaying from side to side, nodding from up to down and up again.. Fuck my handphone alright, i can't even hear a single thing whenever someone calls. ROARSSSSSSSS. Some messages woke me up from my sleep and I was so surprised by this particular message. He actually messaged me. Haha, I don't know whether to be happy or what. But obviously, I'm DAMN happy la. Haha. What a stupid excuse he gave for not contacting me recently. I'm indeed very very shocked that he still thought and remember me.

"How have you been?" Hey, familiar isn't it? Msn personal message: "Oh loveless, how have you been?" Yes, that's one question that I've been wanting to ask you every single day. How have you been??? Hope that you're doing fine. Yeah, and what? We only managed to exchange a few pathetic lines once a week? Fuck, this is shit okay. Oh I really wish to talk to you every single day. But I guess you're too "busy" with your school, friends and girls that you can't even message or give me a call. Making me wait for nothing. Many times, I've this thought of accepting some other guy who's more worthy of my love. But something just kept pulling me further away from those thoughts. Okay, I don't wish to pour out all my unhappiness here. Save it for tomorrow. Haha. And I'm too tired to think now as I'm so so so so worn out.

I've just purchased that top and it'll be mailed to me very soon. Going to buy this black vest and belt tomorrow too.

Long day for me again tomorrow. Tuition!!! Haha.

2006-08-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

"We're So Far Away"
Remembering, everything,
about my world and when you came.
Wondering, the change you'd bring,
means nothing else would be the same.
Did you know,
what you were doing, did you know.
Did you know how you would move me well, I don't really think so.
but the night came down and swept us away.
and the stars they seemed,
to paint the most elaborate scene today.

How could we know?
that song, this show,we'd learn so much about ourselves.
From Toledo, to Tokyo,
the words were scribed on every page,
and now there's books up on our shelves.
Did you know how you would move us, did you know?
When the lights first came upon us,
and we saw The Everglow.
and the moment's magic swept us away.
and the young mans dream was almost seen so plain.

When was the night that showed us the sign?
Revealed in the sky, to leave all behind.
But where to begin?
throwing caution to the wind,
We reached for the stars, everything was now ours.

Did you know how you would move me, did you know?
Did you know how you would move me?
well, I don’t even think so.
but the moment's magic swept us away.
and it’s so close, but we’re so far away.
It’s so close, but we’re so far away.

I did practically nothing today. Was out for lunch with my sister, library, then facial. Ah, boring boring sunday. We did major online shopping this weekend. Haha. I'm planning to get this DKNY top and some other tees.

Haha. That jackass friend of mine. I can't believe this is happening. Next week. So, Agnes.. Is it fear or anticipation?? LOL. Oh fuck.

I found out something earlier today. Haha(laughing at how stupid I am). To think that I'm still holding on to that small and barely visible hope. Okay, whatever.

Oh, my life's getting more and more boring. Let's see. I don't play sports! That's part of the reasons. But, soon soon. I'm going to learn how to play squash and tennis. No swimming for me. Fear that I may get drowned and die anytime. Haha. Okay, what should I take up? Hmmm. No more dancing for me. Perhaps, knitting. HAHA! Oh yucks. That's just a random thought. Oh, and damn. My holiday is in about two weeks' time. What should I do then. Get more students? Get a temporary job? Shit, I have no idea. I don't want to waste another holiday doing nothing but spending money.

2006-08-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

The Ataris - Welcome the night(album 2006)

"Act V, Scene IV - And So It Ends Like It Began"
The smell of incense
It fills the air inside this room
The Casa Blanca love
Shirt about the floor
A casket lined with pills
And a bitter taste of absence
Wash it down

And so it ends like it began
A town in crush
Along this interstate
A war in scripture
A crack to fade and
These dead seats will remain
When bodies turned to dust
And from this monument
I will drown inside the anguish of your heart

A new dawn broke this morning
Tears were raining in this room
As the ugliest holy water
But the image was a blur
This world is like a whore
So ravish and so beautiful
So bitter cold and all alone

And if I had my way
I'd wake up on the day we met
And tremble in your arms for hours
And try to make you hear the sweetest note
But not tonight
We'd die inside each other arms
We'd rebel in our last embrace
I'd steal a breathe right from your heart
And kiss you as we die

I rest my lifeless head upon your heart.. Forever
I rest my lifeless head upon your heart.. Forever
I rest my lifeless hate upon your heart.. Forever

Maybe I'll be sunlight after all.. I'm sorry
Maybe I'll be sunlight after all.. I'm sorry
Maybe I'll be sunlight after all.. I'm sorry
Maybe I'll be sunlight after all.. So sorry!

Maybe I'll be sunlight after all.. I'm sorry
Maybe I'll be sunlight after all.

Friday, 04August2006
Communications lesson ended early. And so, I had lunch with a few of my classmates. Nothing much to do at Causeway Point except for walking and sitting around. Oh well, tuition today was SO MUCH MORE better. Haha, I guess he's better in Maths.*sighs Guess what!! Matt and Mel accompanied me again. Haha, oh my god. Thanks alot man. We had supper after that. Coincidentally, my ex and current schoolmate was also going home. Hence, I have someone's company on my way back home. Woooh. But fuck, I've been spending quite a lot of money recently. Damn.

When I receive my first tuition pay, I'll get my tattoo done. Haha.

2006-08-03T22:15:00.000-07:00

Gatsbys American Dream

Gatsbys American Dream's new album out on 8August!! Songs on Purevolume.com, check it out!

Hello hello hello!!! Haha, school was alright I would say. Well, one god news. Actually I received this news a few days ago. I'm shortlisted for.. ! Haha. Shall keep it to myself first. Wait till I'm selected, then I'll let you guys know. Oh, my three lovelies left early today, leaving me in class. Haha, so sad so sad. But, it's okay. Anyway, Mel and I went to Jack's Place for lunch after school. Well, considered tea break la. Haha.

Oh, and it's my dad's birthday this coming saturday. Hmm hmmm. What shoudl I get for him? Im thinking maybe we should just havebake him a cake(even though I know it'll taste damn awful), dinner at Marina Bay, watch fireworks, and he'll foot the bill AGAIN! Haha.

2006-08-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

The Get Up Kids

Oh, lover! Oh, muffin! Haha, my two sweet girlfriends in class. Muffin? Hmm, I wonder why she calls me muffin. That's why I called her that. Oh, lover, OH. Haha. She got that from my msn nick. "Oh lover, I'm loveless". Haha, I have a funny bunch of male classmates la. It's funny how we only got so close to one another only when we're about to split up and change classes. Oh my god, SO DAMN SAD la.

Anyway, would like to thank Melvin and Matthew once again, for accompanying me for tuition. Oh my god, I felt god damn bad yesterday night. That's very sweet of them la. Waited for me at the void deck while I was tutoring this problematic kid. Oh my goodness, he pisses me off big time. He waits for me to give him the answer, he shuts his mouth completely and seem to be mumbling to an ant whenever I asked him to read something and gives me that "fucked up" stare. Eh, hello. Haha, mind your manners huh. Anyway, back to the guys. They were so tired that they slept on the ground. Oh gosh oh gosh, I feel very very touched. So, after that, we went off for supper and back home. Saw my ex schoolmate at the itnerchange and took the bus with him. Oh, lucky there was someone to keep me company during the journey back home. Haha, otherwise I'll be damn fucking bored.

Computing lesson was very relaxing today. Haha. Nothing much to add on for today.

2006-07-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

Daphne Loves Derby(Oh my god, I love every single song from them)

Some issues are very sensitive, so I prefer to use lyrics to express my thoughts to someone who has been.. quite fake. Not trying to have any obvious personal attack here but, I really think that it's a little too much.

Behind the secrets there's a world to see.
You can find it if you only stop, stop, stop machine.
It's a conspiracy to make you believe in everything you can see. (stop stop stop machine)
They keep on telling you it's all for free though it isn't your reality.(stop stop stop machine)
It's time to open up your eyes and be the one to stop, stop, stop the machine.

Get in
get out
get up
get down
break up
speak up
stop stop stop the machine

Behind the door the hide from you and me,
breaking fingers so habitually.
You feel a false sense of security, a blanket of hypocrisy.
It's not the way things are supposed to be, and what you get is not what you see.(stop stop stop machine)You're sinking further, you're in way too deep.
Get up, get out and shout stop the machine.

Okay, enough of that shit. Some things happened in just a few hours' time. Him, "fake" friend.. Fuck, what is this world coming to? Okay, he wasn't appreciative at all. I kind of expected more from his reply rather than just a "Huh oh, thanks. I'm having lessons now" and sounding uninterested, unconcerned and gloomy. Haha, what the fuck. I'm seriously feeling very very very very tired of all this. Just curious as to, why I'm the only one holding on to this. You won't understand, you won't. In the end, I'm still the one who's still pinning high hopes that you'll be like before, when all you're interested in is, perhaps other or "newer" girls. A heavy heart is all I could say. I just feel so emotionally weighed down. It's not really like a burden, but.. Ah, no mood for this la. What I meant is that, he could at least message me after I hung up. I've already planned what to say to him. I have so much to say. I took me alot of courage to even make that fucking phone call. Why? Plainly because I don't want to get disappointed with your reply. And true enough, that's what i get. Thanks sweetheart. Thanks alot. I had mixed feelings of both anger and disappointment after I hung up. I've been reminding myself umpteen times that he is not worth it. But it doesn't work. Just by looking back at the fucking heart-melting and honey-sweet messages, I could feel this stab right through my heart. Please just for once, when you say something, please make sure you really mean it. Tell me you mean it, please. I know I'm feeling all "emo" here. But, I just need to voice out everything rather than bottling it all up inside me.

Anyway, I'm very satisfied with a few of my grades for last week. I got As for both cognitive and maths, which I have the least number of As from. Yeah, like FINALLY. Haha. 23 August is the last day of semester1!!! Woooh. That's just too great.We might be skipping science lesson again tomorrow. Don't you just hate SCIENCE! Thank god Im not in some science-related courses. Otherwise I'll drop out for sure. Oh, we're having science UT tomorrow too. Oh wish me luck. I'ts gonna be tough for me because I've missed quite a number of lessons. Oh oh oh. Too bad.

Giving tuition tomorrow. Oh, tiring. Most probably catching a movie before that too, with a couple of my classmates. (:

2006-07-30T23:00:00.001-07:00

The Juliana Theory
Ah, let's see. We weren't able to catch the movie. 'cause the bus took way too long to reach bugis. So, we decided to give the movie a miss. The Lake House. Awwww. Haha, it's okay anyway. I can catch it anytime. Perhaps on tuesday, after school. Hmm, and so, we did major shopping at Bugis Village and I managed to get a skirt and shorts. Nothing much actually. We're like dying of hunger. *roarrrrrrs. So, we made our way back and had dinner with daddy. Haha, yes, my dad. How amazing. Wow, we had BBQ stingray and some other great dishes. And there he goes again, giving us some inspirational-wisdom-karma talk. Today's a boring boring day. And I just remember, my dad's birthday's on next saturday! Oh god, what should I get for him man.

I'm beginning to miss you, sweetheart.

2006-07-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

HA-HA! I'm back again for anther post. But this time, it's a survey on guys. Hmm, interesting huh!

GUYS!!!

Hair Color: Natural. (Black/brown) Not other weird hair colours please.
Eye Color: Natural. If it's blue or green, I don't really mind too! Haha, HOT.
(Their)Music Genre Preference: Similar to mine of course. Punk, rock, indie, post hardcore, alternative
Height(estimate): Taller than me. Haha
Age: Same or older
Personality Type: Sweet, someone with a good heart, playful(Haha), cute in nature, vain!, good characters la. Lazy to list them all out
Older or Younger: Older, DUH
Romantic or Horndog: Haha. This is so obvious, romantic!
Smart or Stupid: Smart. I like smarter guys
Fat or Skinny: Average
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular: EEE. Both turn me off. Average size, doesn't need to be muscular please. Just fit. Haha
Punk or Preppy: Punk
The Big Picture or the Little Things: Little things
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present: Anything.
Mixtape or Burned CD: Both
Love or Lust: Both. (HAHAHA)
Emotional or Just Not: Emotional
Sincere or Jokester: I would say, I prefer a jokester. I prefer guys with a sense of humour
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet: Hot and sweet ;p
Sexy or Just Cute: Just Cute
Arse or Abs: Abs!
Hair or Hands: Hair.
Dimples or Eyes: I don't like guys with dimples. So, beautiful eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs: Hmmmm.
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) : Both.
Clean Shaven or Scruffy: Depends which he's more suitable for
Rugged or Prim and Proper: Rugged. Haha
Countryboy or Cityboy: Cityboy of course. They're wilder! Countryboy reminds me of Brokeback Mountain. I don't know why. Haha
Date alone or With Friends: ALONE, just the both of us.
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause: Rebels! Haha. Cute
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much: No! Why should I dump him when he likes me so much?
Loved a guy because he stalked you: No way! Stalkers can jolly go fuck themselves
Loved a guy because he hated you: Nah, that's stupid
Asked your friend's crush out: I don't really take initiative to ask people out. But, well.. I don't remember. Haha!
Lead a guy on for kicks: Haha!!!
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott: Yes. Haha, that's the only reason why I would ask that guy out.
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend: No. Haha, I'll feel so guilty. So nope.
Lied about not having a boyfriend: Haha, Yeah
Lied about having one: It's like.. For some situations, you just have to.
Cheated: Yes, damn.
Been Cheated on: YEAH, once. The feeling's horrible
Had a crush on a gay guy: NO WAY.
Boxers?: Yes. Hot hot hot. Lol!
Briefs?: Not really. Doesn't look good to me. (Haha)
Hat?: Nope
Skater Shoes?: Yes yes.
Pimp Shoes?: Haha, don't mind
Band Shirts?: Yeah, quite.
Vintage shirts?: Okay with it
Jeans or Shorts?: Jeans
Would you ever date a guy for his money?: If we're playing with each other, yes. If it's for real, Nope.
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?: Maybe.
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?: Haha. Of course not. But I'll get along well with his friends.
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?: Yes, I tried. But it's WRONG.
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?: Hahahaha.
Do looks matter?: Yes, well.. to me. But I mean, every one has a different taste and likings. Other girls may not find someone whom I think is goodlooking, hot. So, yeah. So I guess that's why God made us all different
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?: Actually, Yes. I can't imagine one day when I'll get dumped
Does size matter?: As long as he's average size, I don't mind.
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?: Yes, no offence. But everyone do that too.
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?: Hmm, I don't remember I've any UGLY friends? Haha
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be): Yes. That's mean
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?: Not really. I can click well with most of them
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?: Haha! I don't lie. I can't lie too.
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?: Yeah, why not. it's a compliment anyway. Haha
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?: Sometimes
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?: Seriously speaking.. No
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?: Hmmm, good question. No, only at times. Haha! Damn, that's mean
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?: yeah, of course
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?: Yes I would

2006-07-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

Acceptance

I shall now blog about yesterday. Fridays are always long and exhausting. I went to school, as usual. But today's Communication topic was a tad bit BORING! And so, needless to say, we're bored stiff. We left during the 2nd breakout again. Haha. And I felt so bad because I was the only one who left, in my group. They wanted to go to kbox, so, there we go again. Lol. And this was the first time I go to kbox. Like how pathetic can I get. Singing, playing, crapping, drinking.. The funny thing was.. I drank 3 glasses of whisky coke and I'm down. As in, not really drunk, but I could feel my head spinning round and round, had a headache and a little tipsy. Felt damn horrible 'cause I knew I was about to knock out. Haha, then they started saying that I'm lousy. Eh, I think I am. Oh my god, that's so unbelievable. Whenever people asked me whether I've got wasted before, I said "No la, I've never get drunk before okay. Maybe I can hold my liquor well." BUT no. That's not true. Haha. All thanks to Ganesh and Mel that the headache was gone. Most of them left. Mel, Matt and I were the only ones left. When we're to leave, the staff stopped Mel and asked him to play for the damages. Hey, like come on, it's not even considered damages, they're just litter. We played with the titbits and threw it at each other. Hence, the floor and sofas were a little screwed up. 30 bucks for that! Haha, oh fuck oh fuck.

I had to give tuition yesterday, remember? So yeah, headed back to Causeway Point, bought their stuffs and went off for tuition. The journeys were long but luckily, I have them to keep me company. Some things cropped up and I ended up not giving tuition but talking with a parent for an hour or so. Haha. But it'll be starting next tuesday. We had dinner nearby and went home after that. I'm so touched that they are willing to accompany me. Haha. How nice of them. Thanks guys. Had a great evening with them, I would say.

And now, I'm stuck at home. How sad. Not sure of the plans for today. Catching Laguna Beach Marathon. Have to wait till my sister gets home!

7777 Rewinding. "The times we've shared were so genuine, for a moment, I thought you were true."

Acceptance - "Over You"

Hopeless

A single word that you would not expect from me, from me

I take it like it's coming from an enemy

The scene was meant to be

I see it coming after all the worst of me would fall

Make this now or never

See it on my face I'm getting over you

Make this now or never

I'm getting over you

The place it takes me now

Well is it far enough

I'm getting over you

Make this now or never

Countless

The moments I would kill to keep this day away, away

I see it coming after all the worst of me would fall

I take it like it's coming from my greatest enemy

Make this now or never

See it on my face I'm getting over you

Make this now or never

I'm getting over you

The place it takes me now

Well is it far enough

I'm getting over you

Make this now or never

Hopeless

I don't have to take this

Countless

See it on my face

Getting over you

Oohh oh oh oh, getting over you

2006-07-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

Thrice - Red sky

I'm SO in love with Thrice baby. Hahah! It has been so long since I last listened to Thrice's. But I can listen to it anytime 'cause I've got their album,Vheissu.
I like the songs in bold.
1.Image of the invisible
2.Between the end and where we lie
3.The earth will shake
4.Atlantic
5.For miles
6.Hold fast hope
7.Music box
8.Like moths to flame
9.Of dust and nations
10.Stand and feel your worth
11.Red sky
The End.

WHO ARE YOU?
WRAP YOURSELF IN LIGHT

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
SCREAM THE WORD THAT COULD SAVE US ALL

WHAT ARE YOU CALLED?
STAND AND FEEL YOUR WORTH

My class is damn pathetic, only half the class attended lesson today. WHY? Haha, because today's the Cognitive processes&problem solving , DUH. Yucks, this is the most stupid module ever, I tell you. One of the most dumbest problem for the day, "Analyse a candle". That's all. Like, oh what the fuck. No wonder we left. Haha.

Movie this weekend! It'll definitely be The Lake House. With who? No idea. Jason's working. Haiya, haven't seen him for a mere one month already. Movie with, movie with.. Hmmmmm. I don't know. Weekends. The first thing that comes to my mind is, MORE SLEEP. Haha.

I was still okay yesterday night. But in class today, I just started to miss him so badly that it totally spoil my mood. Why Agnes why? Huh, tell me.

2006-07-26T21:35:00.000-07:00

Sipping a nice cup of tea and enjoying the movie trialer of The Lake House. This movie is super sweet. I want to watch it like, NOW! Haha.

2006-07-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hidden In Plain View

Hey, I scored full marks for my maths quiz today! Haha, it has been quite some time since I last scored that well for a particular quiz. 'cause most of the time, I don't really bother. I was too lazy to think, work out the solutions and all. So, I'll just do it anyhow. Haha. Hoping I'll get at least half of them correct. But hey, why am I talking about this ? Haha. Anyway, my current GPA is 3.1 and what I want is just to pass and proceed on smoothly to second year, that's all. I have no high expectations anymore. Haha.

The moment my sister gets home, she can't stop yakking. Yakking, yakking and yakking non-stop. It gets to my nerves sometimes. I can't stand staying at home. How I wish my dad has to fly off to wherever-he-wish-to-go, tomorrow. 'cause I want to go to the DXO party!!!Haha.

I've thought it over. Yes, I should really open my eyes wider and look around me. I'm not aware of certain things. Come to think of it, it's really stupid to keep holding on to him. Now, I know. I really do. But the times that we've shared were so genuine. That's what that holds me back.

I'll give all the attention to my friends for now, especially my classmates. Seriously.

"Goodbye For Now"
I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no, not tonight

And when the smoke clears nothings left
Black ashes still fall from the sky
I see a figure standing far away
And a shadow on the ground, but I don't know why

And then a picture of you crosses my mind
And then fades away and I realize that I'm all alone

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no, not tonight

And life is dark with your eyes always closed
you'll never see a thing
I never wanted any of this, no not at all
But it will be okay

Get away from this, leave it all behind
There will be a brighter day

Bittersweet every touch, Still burning in my memory
Can't turn back the hand of time,
Can't make believe that your still mine
'Cause your so far away

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no, not tonight

(Bittersweet every touch, Still burning in my memory
Can't turn back the hand of time,
Can't make believe that your still mine
'Cause your so far away)

Goodbye for now..

I've lost all hope in you
I want out of this place called home tonight
So goodbye for now
I'm never coming back no, not tonight

All eyes off me, no more pathetic memories
All eyes off me, no more pathetic memories
All eyes off me, no more pathetic memories..

No more of that dramas ans sweet nothings. I know I've said this a thousand times. God, and now I'm quite sick of hearing this. But, I still have to say it. Fuck. Like what you've told me last time, "it has ended. it really has". YES, it really has now.

2006-07-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

Brandtson

Okay, talking about last night. Oh, it was a fine night & I have no bloody idea why I thought of messaging him all of a sudden. Fuck, Agnes is forever doing this. Haha. But, I was really really elated, flying high, overjoyed, beaming & sparkling with joy. I'm aware that his words cannot be completely trusted. Nevertheless, I feel very blessed and touched. I know it's fucking stupid. Like, I'm the dumbest person in the whole universe. But sometimes, I don't really care? I know this got to stop. But I seriously need more time to think it over. And time, to be with him too. I know this is ridiculous. I can't help it. I'm too tempted. I tell myself, just let this be the last few times I meet up with him. And I'll get it over once and for all. Well, that's if both of us are meeting up.

I just got this phone call telling me that I've to tutor this primary 2 kid at Woodlands. WOOOOH, finally. Haha. I got a student, I'm going to be a tutor. I know it's not easy because not many people wants a O Level Cert holder to be his/her tutor. So, I don't really care about the fees. Let's hope he/she is some cute ass whom I'll enjoy teaching and not some annoying & mischievious brat. Haha

Oh anyway, we went off to Selina's place during 2nd breakout. Not again! Haha. But we had a great great time over at Selina's. The best and funniest thing was that.. we played Truth or Dare. Haha, it sounds childish la, but the Dares aren't. It includes sucking(toes and love byte), licking(ears), dancing(lap and pole dance), humping. And we got to know interesting facts too. It was damn funny la. And I actually gave one of my guy classmate a love byte. Oh god. Haha. *shakes head. This class of mine is very "sexual". Haha. And suddenly, I feel so close and connected to my classmates. I don't want to change class for the next semester. We're had so much fun!

2006-07-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

BEDlight for BLUEeyes

He swears, he says the world fades, well i'd swear every other word if i could for him, i'd make an attempt. Sometimes love isn't about how much he worships you, but how much you're willing to change to suit them. All my bones are dust. Some people do damaged too much, too late. And my heart's sealed with rust. Some people do damaged too much, too late. These hands will always be rough. Some people do damaged too much, too late. I know this won't count for much. Some people do damaged too much, too late. One day my hands were too soft, one day he said, i'm tired. One day, empty bottles. Well i'm not saying he's my last. I'm just saying that he could have been, and it doesn't matter how tough it get.

"Now there's nothing wrong with you. I've just grown tired. And I need you for a brand new curse". Is that what you're thinking?

Hah, this is so hilarious. I'm actually in love with someone who is no different from a jackass/bastard/dickhead/whatever! Oh, please God, please let me meet only nice people. Please let me meet someone who is much more worthy of my love. Perhaps, a gorgeous JC guy! Haha. 'cause this asshole here is pushing me to the extent that I feel so uncertain of myself.

School has been pretty much of a bore. Before school starts, people would be saying, "Oh, poly's going to be so happening for you girl. You're going to enjoy it. You're going to love it. Blahblahblah" Haha. Bullshit. Poly's not that fun after all. When you're in my poly *roll eyes. Boring guys are all you see everyday and everywhere. Hot guys are like, disappearing, gone.. I just feel like shaking my head whenever I thought of it. Haha. Apart from that, you'll also get to see Ah lians&Ah Bengs(I wonder why these people exist in poly) and posers(especially the bunch we saw just now, Old School? Oh for fuck's sake, stop it). LOL, what did I do to deserve being stuck at a poly like that. Okay, enough said. Many will criticise me if they see this. It's mean, but they're facts.

And, thanks Raf, for always being there for me.

2006-07-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

The Subways

Oh, let's talk about yesterday. Firstly, it was great hanging out with a couple of my classmates. It's like the first time I went out with my classmates ever since school started. Oh, I'm such a meano. Haha. Anyway, we had our bit of fun even though the club, music and everything were a little screwed up. We spend quite some time looking for a club. It's either we can't get in or it's full house. *ROARS. Agnes was so pissed because of the high heels she wore. My feet fucking hurts alright. Just imagine, the pressure and the height of the heels. Oh god. Was rather amazed that I could still dance till, close to 5 in the morning. And by the time I got home, I was dead dead dead beat. Woke up around 1+ in the afternoon. God, so damn tired. And I've just realised what causes my rashes ! It's alcohol. Haha, no wonder I have rashes at least once a month.

Today was great except that I had a bad hair day. Initially, I already had plans lined up for the day. Last week, my friend and I actually planned to like hang out at his other friend's place but in the end.. We didn't meet up, as usual. Haha. And also, Benjamin, my jerk friend, called yesterday when I was on my way out to club. He just misses me way too much la. Lol, wanted to hang out with him today but, I guess soccer's more important. Haha. But it's really okay, 'cause we can stil hang out anytime. And so, I spend my evening over at my good friend's house. We rented dvds, went coffeebean, went over to watch movies and he whipped up an awesome meal. At first, we watched this horror movie. And, I totally freaked out even when the exciting part even started. Haha. So, we switched to this comedy. It was quite nice though. Actually, I wanted to stay a while more and he started to say something abut "coping" and that reminds me of my incompleted Reflection Journal ! I was like, Oh my god, I haven't done my RJ. Fuck fuck fuck, I have to hand in by 10. Oh god damn it. Haha. I was thinking of what I should write in my RJ on my way home and managed to submit it by 9.59pm. Phew, that was close. Lol. Anyway, thanks for everything today, once again. (:

And my dad'll be back early the next morning. Hey, dad ! Haha.

2006-07-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

The Spill Canvas

So what have I been up to since morning ? Had breakfast, flipped thorugh the newspapers(this doesn't happen very often) and looked for job. Tried to look for a job in an Events Company, but I guess I'd better stick to cafe jobs. Haha. Interview tomorrow. Guess what, 1st semester's ending in a month's time and here comes my 1 month holiday ! I swear I'm going to work my ass off this time, splurge it on shopping, get my tattoo done as soon as possible and surprise my mom with a very special special birthday celebration. Yeah, and some "people", actually only a handful, said my dressing's weird. It's not fucking true la ! But, I'm going to try a whole new dressing style. Lol. Firstly, I have to let my hair grow longer. I think I'm pretty sick of my current hairstyle and people say I look like a china doll. Haha. Guarantee a whole new me when the next semester starts. Lol.

Oh well, I skipped school again. I was feeling really sick with signs of fever, sore throat, blocked nose and worse still, nose bleeding. Haha. Yeah, what the fuck. Nose bleeding ? Damn. And having to down the crushed, powdery, watery medicine. Oh, hopefully I'll feel better by tonight. I want to hang out with my friends tomorrow night and saturday.

Somehow, I'm able to stop myself from having the urge to meet him now. Yes, and I suppose he'll forget me in no time. I mean, without contacting and meeting up, he will, eventually. The same goes for me. I think I really ought to spend more time with my friends. Lots of catching up, drinking, pouring-our-hearts-out talk. Oh, I still have a fetish with School guys. Yeah, mostly JC. I can dream about them for the rest of the afternoon.

Hey there love,

You're here a couple days
But for weeks, you've been away
Just stay right where I can see you
When you go away I get so low
Like temperatures when they're at their coldest
When you go away I get so lonely
Like I'm stranded by the side of the road

But this time I'll be alright
My heart can't get any worse
I can't afford to make another mistake like this,
'Cause this is more than I can take.

2006-07-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

Emery

Murderer,

If I told you I loved you
Would it move you enough
To even act as if you've heard ?

If I said I was leavin'
Would you still find a reason
To ignore my every word ?

'Cause I'm the one who waits here for you,
I'm the who'll always adore you,
I'm the one who is dying for your cause,

Do you care at all ?
Do you care at all ?
Do you care at all ?

If I told you to meet me in the city this evening,
Would you even think to come ?
Everyone would be hearing my intentions of prolonging,
Your easy when your numb.

'Cause I'm the one who waits here for you,
I'm the who'll always adore you,
I'm the one who see's right through it all.

Do you care at all ?
Do you care at all ?
Do you care at all ?

If I told you,
Would you care?
If I told you,
Would you still never be there?

If I told you,
I need you,
Would you still not agree to even offer me your hand?

Do you care at all ?
Do you care at all ?
Do you even fucking care at all ?

I guess not. But I think it's about time I stop. I don't want to feel loveless, hopeless and stupid knowing that I've been treated like a fool all the while. Do you even know the true meaning of "I love you" ? Yes, it's a very powerful word. It can make one go crazy over someone else. Ah, how funny. I suppose I might take quite a long time to completely get that him out of my mind. But it's a good sign that I'm trying now. (:

Oh god. I hate falling sick. I seriously dread pills. No matter how hard I try, I just can't get that pill down my throat. I'm so afraid that it might get suck somewhere and TADA ! I'll be gone just like that. No, I don't want. I have god damn many things that I want to accomplish in the future.

I don't have much plans for the week. I'm really tired from everything. But, clubbing or late night outs are a must. And regardless of what I do, I'll make sure that I'll keep myself occupied and never think of him again.

2006-07-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

Cartel

Good morning, dear. It has been about two weeks since I last said that to you. I love you. I said that to myself whenever my mind's unoccupied with other thoughts. Nowadays, I try hard to occupy my mind with as many things as possible.

You're different now. You're not who you used to be, or at least not to me. You steal the blood inside of me, I can't bleed. You could have nothing but you'll still have me. I could have nothing but I can't not have you. I'm alive but not inside.

Now that I'm dead to you dear, you can slip those bullets back in your lips where they seethe. You were the one to gun our love straight downlike a stone in a river. You shot your favorite enemy. Watch me bleed.

Wasn't able to blog yesterday because I was way too tired. Haha. Anyway, I'm glad that I managed to talk to him on sunday and yesterday. My dad'll be leaving Singapore today ! God damn it. Lol, I'll most probably drop by his house tomorrow or thursday. Oh and I'll most probably be meeting Jerm one of these days. FINALLY.

I had a chat with one of my ex-schoolmate during the bus journey back home. Haha, was so so so surprised by what his classmates think of me. Call me 'ah-lian'. Lol, what the fuck. Said that I have a weird hairstyle and dressing. Oh my god. Lol

Right now, I'm in school, attending science lesson. CHEMISTRY ! Oh fuck, I hate it. I don't remember a single thing. Seriously. Haven't been coming for science lesson for the past 2 weeks. I feel so lost. Haha.

2006-07-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

This Day And Age

Oh, I actually went for the talk ALONE yesterday. Haha. It ended quite early. And since I said I'll be there, then I ought to keep my promise isn't it ? Awww, how nice of me. Haha. There goes my saturday. Fuck. And I can't stand myself at times. I'll definitely spend a sum of money whenever I go out. Yeah, I bought a neckalce and bracelet from Accesorise at Bugis yesterday. It's too eye-catching la. Lol. That Benjamin said that he'll call me but in the end, he didn't. Haha, that jackass. Maybe he decided not to go out. Uhmm.

If this continues, I think it'll end pretty soon. Seriously. I mean, I know this will end sooner or later. It's just a matter of time. Sometimes, I wonder.. Can his words be trusted ? And whenever people talk about him, it's the same word they'll use to describe him. How stupid can one get ? Like, since you know right from the start what kind of guy he is, then why do you still fall for him. What a fool la. But, something seems to be telling me that he may be different this time round. Whenever one say something bad about him, I just feel like telling him/her, "No, you're wrong, he's not that kind of person". Ah, I hate this.

OH, and I want to watch CABARET. Haha, god. I think it's a great musical. *screams.

2006-07-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

KEANE - Under the iron sea !!!!!!!

Oh my goodness, I'm so in love with Keane now. Haha. Let's hope they'll have a concert in Singapore, just like Coldplay. Lol.

Oh fuck, this is so infuriating. Haha, nobody's fucking interested in going to the talk with me. Damn, guess I'll have to go alone since it's just one and a half hour. Oh anyway, had a good time with Rafael yesterday. Yeah, it's his birthday ! Haha, and so we had dinner ar Friends with one of his other friend too.

Happy Birthday To Nalini too. Love you girl !

Happy Birthday Rafael.

Most people are already 17 by now and.. Whenever people asked me, "Hey, how old are you now ?" "Oh, I'm still sixteen +++" How embarrassing. Lol. Oh ya, and I've asked Nalini to get me the Baybeats stickers since she's going tomorrow, if possible. Let me think, who should I go out with tomorrow ?? Uhmm.

Most probably going to club with my classmates next week. Yay, so looking forward to it.
And, I miss you baby. Haven't seen you for a week now.

2006-07-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

From First To Last

It has been quite some time since I last listened to songs from the Metal and Post Hardcore genre. I'm beginning to not like it as much as I used to. Haha, find them a little annoying.

Ooooh ! Anyway, we skipped lessons today. Haha, initially, I didn't intend to go to school. AGAIN. But, there's UT today, so I have to go no matter what. We left during our first breakout. We had breakfast, caught Pirates Of The Caribbean and lunch. Wow, Orlando Bloom is mad hot. And Johnny Depp sure has that pirate looks. Although I didn't catch the previous one, but I roughly know what's going on still. And today's Reflection Journal question is damn funny. "What grade should you get for today's lesson? Justify your decision." It's obviously referring to us la. But I felt quite bad though. I'll do the RJ and I shall give myself a C. Well, hopefully I'll be able to get at least a C.

I just messaged him. Just got to know that he's pretty busy lately. So, I shall bear with it for another few days. Just hope he'll be less busy by next week. I've also told him that my dad'll be out of town some time next week and that we must meet up soon. Haha. He's number one when it comes to sweet talking. Seriously.

2006-07-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

Further Seems Forever

Shit, I swear I'll never take sweet beverages again. I had the chocolate oreo pearl drink just now and that causes me to have stomach upset & feel nauseous. Oh fuck. Haha

Just got to know roughly how much it costs to get a tattoo and am currently looking for a unique design. But I heard it's damn painful. Haha. Jerm was telling about getting something which is meaningful to me so I'll not regret after some time. Hmm, something which is of some meaning to me ? This might take me some time to figure out what it is. Oh please, haha. I'll never get those common ones. Yucks. *giggles And now, I might have to save up a little more for it.

I'm beginning to feel so lost. He causes me to hesitate whether to read the message or not, whenever I receive an sms. It's because I don't want to feel disappointed when I realise that the message isn't from him. Kept my damn phone on throughout the whole night just to wait for his call, which I normally won't. I'm actually used to switching my phone off before I go to sleep 'cause I seriously hate people calling or messaging me in the middle of the night. But these few days, what I get is disappointment disappointment and still disappointment. I'm starting to feel that I don't mean a small fuck to him. And that, it's not worth it. So, why bother, Agnes ? Stop dreaming and fucking wake up please. At times, I try to give in to him 'cause I fear that he might get upset and rejected. But now I think it's so damn foolish la. I know it's stupid of me to blog about such things but I just feel that saying it all out rather than keeping it all to myself. By doing this, I feel much better too.

2006-07-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

The Ataris

Oh damn, I've three Xs for the Basic Science module already. Haha. My mom's right in guessing yesterday, that I won't be going to school today. I just feel so tired on tuesdays. What's more, today's lesson is on Chemistry. Fuck, I'm damn bad at it. Even though I took Pure Chemistry during secondary three, I don't remember a single thing about it. Haha, dropping it is the smartest thing I've done la.

Yay, I got an A for Enterprise. And, I did something shocking yesterday. Haha, actually told my faci that I'm interested to be an emcee. Hey, but I really am. So, I'll most probably go for that Talk on saturday.

Whoa, I had a really long chat over the phone with Benjamin just now. Haha, well.. I think he's the only friend that critisizes me the most and tell others false news about me. Lol, damn fucking bad.

2006-07-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

Motioncity Soundtrack

I came across Motioncity Soundtrack's page and their this deluxe cd edition is pretty interesting. And also, Hellogoodbye's new and upcoming album(Zombies!Aliens!Vampires!Dinosaurs!) which I find really cute. Was blog-hopping and checking out new albums when other groups were doing the enterprise presentations. Today was fuck boring.

Oh, ignore the previous blog entry. Haha. I'm always so sensitive la. I was so glad he messaged me early in the morning arround 5+. I don't really care whether I get my damn sleep or not. As long as I get to talk to him. LOL ! Just realised that the feelings are too strong and he's too attractive for me to resist. *grins

Oh fucking hell, guess what. My dad's going abroad again. God damn it, it's time for clubbing, I swear. Late night outs, stayovers(hopefully) which eventually results in sex. HAHA, oh fuck it. I'm just kidding.

Anyway, I lost another match. But Italy still won eventually, which is a good thing. And that got me really broke today. That I'll have to withdraw money. I dislike withdrawing money 'cause I hate seeing the digits getting smaller and smaller.

2006-07-09T15:39:00.000-07:00

Hellogoodbye

I can't figure out why I feel this way. I just feel so insecure whenever I'm unable to contact him or when he didn't call me for a day or two. I know I may be acting a little too sensitive but.. Oh fuck, why in the first place have I gotten myself into these kind of shit. Agnes used to be someone who can find it hard to commit, prefer flings and no relationships(= no restrictions). Why has she become in this state ? Is it really that hard to.. treat this like any other 'no-feelings-involved' relationship ? Fuck. I feel like forgetting all these has never happened. I really do.

Hey, and am I really the first to wish my beloved&dearest friend, Benjamin, Happy Birthday ?? Haha, yeah hopefully I am. Really hope he'll enjoy this special day with whoever he's with. Lol. So,
Happy birthday jerk friend, once again. Oh ya, hope that you'll win today's football match if you happen to bet.

Jack's Mannequin - "Into The Airwaves"

From an empty room on the first floor
As the cars pass by the liqour store
I deconstruct my thoughts at this piano
And it's all that I can do to stay with
All the things I didn't say to you
Before you moved across the country
And from the burning building where I lay
As I watch the stars become the day
The L.A. girls were lacing up their sneakers
They run the boardwalks and the beach
This fishbowl life is all they need
It's everything I needed, too
Until I heard the news

I'll send this message through the speakers
They told me that you moved
I'll cross this country on a frequency

I'm slipping through, I'm slipping through
I'm slipping into the airwaves
And this is nothing new, you are slipping through
My fingers and into the airwaves
The static's where you'll find me

From the corner by the studio
The gold-soaked afternoon comes slow
I deconstruct my thoughts and I am walking by
On Third Street, the freakshow thrives
Santa Monica's alive, but
Something's not so right inside
Living with the news

I'll send this message through the speakers
They told me that you moved
I'll cross this country on a frequency

I am slipping through, I am slipping through
I am slipping into the airwaves (The static's where you'll find me)
And this is nothing new, you are slipping through
My fingers and into the airwaves
Into the airwaves

So hold on, it's gonna be hard day
So hang on, now. Don't panic
Don't panic, there simply is no need

It's gonna be a hard day
It's gonna be a hard day
Don't panic, don't panic
We are hanging here
We are hanging here

I am slipping through, I am slipping through
I am slipping into the airwaves (The static's where you'll find me)
And this is nothing new, you are slipping through
My fingers and into the airwaves
Into the airwaves

It's gonna be a hard day(It's gonna be a hard day)
So hang on, now
Don't panic, don't panic
There simply is no need

It's gonna be a hard day(It's gonna be a hard day)
It's gonna be a hard day
Don't panic, don't panic
We are hanging here(It's gonna be a hard day)
We are hanging here(It's gonna be a hard day)
We are hanging hereWe are hanging here

2006-07-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

Vedera

I had an awesomely great time with him last night. *smirks

And right now, I'm spending my saturday watching MTV and nothing else. Oh fuck. Anyway, I've been thinking of getting a part time job lately. I think it is necessary to have one and I don't mind spending my weekends working. Haha. I know, you people must be thinking that I can't even stick to a job for a month and now I'm planning to get a god damn job again. I need more money $$$$.

I want to go clubbing so badly. Haha.